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    dots Submission Name: Norma Jeandots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 837
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 296


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    dotsNorma Jeandots

    You were a woman like lace,
    delicate, feminine, beautiful,
    but with a soul too full of wounds
    to bear the weight of fame,
    and you died as Marilyn
    though inside you were still Norma Jean,
    and sadness killed you
    if not your own hand.

    Submitted on 2004-08-08 02:38:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||

    That is to say... She was innocence...Like a FARM girl playing dress-up.

    I like the piece. Reminds me of Candle In The Wind.
    | Posted on 2004-08-13 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      She reminds me of this gentle childlike creature that needed to be protected. I think that is the reason she is regarded as the greastest sex symbol of all time. Men felt a need to protect her. She was like innocense...Like a far girl playing dress-up.
    | Posted on 2004-08-13 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      Just an unsolicited opinion here: I can't stand references to pop-icons like they were somehow sooooo cool or special. So opinion of this piece is very biased. I have met a hundred women in my life that I would easily rank above Marilyn Monroe. She was slut that got lucky. Case closed.
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... always norma jean... i guess you can never escape who you were born to be though you can pretend and paint yourself into someone else... i really like this... i like how you didnt outright say it was suicide but you did leave the possibility of it there... good write
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      maybe change last line to something like 'did you die by your own hand or others?'

    just a suggestion :-)

    [computer says i need more words...]
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      i think changing "holes" to "wounds" is an excellent idea. it makes more sense in the context of the poem and is so very true...
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      it's interesting that you speak of lace and then talk about a "soul too full of holes..." i'm not sure i agree with the part about the soul. i think she was definitely a tormented soul, but i'm not sure i would describe it as full of holes. but i do get what you are trying to say. her's is definitely a sad story. i like the way you leave it open-ended at the end, sort of hinting at maybe suicide, 'cause nobody real does know for sure, do they? everytime i hear elton john's "goodbye Norma Jean," i cry...
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the description in the beggining. The end is great, really. I mean look at it this way, there are millions of way you could have wrote the ending but you picked this one. I mean, it was what you wanted to say to your readers. I think you worry a little too much about writing what others want to read and not writing for you. Just and observation. I really did enjoy this poem.
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the holes and the weight of fame work well. writing about something that slips through the holes as wilderness suggested is an image that doesn't fit so well to the topic. my opinion. this poem is about something real and it's easy to identify with, so you completed your task for Paul and still it's very well written. really good poem.
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      the end is fine. finishes it off nicely. when you say too full of holes.. instead of writing about bearing weight, how about something that would slip through these holes? there is a much clearer way of putting this i know (a few words) but my head is a mess...
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by wilderness | [ Reply to This ]

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