hey, is this inspired by the Bright Eyes song Black Comedy? Cuddledumplin put me onto them/him and I saw the name of the song "Black Comedy" and said to myself I've read that title on ES. then I listened to the lyrics and the reference to the coffin was there too.
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"BLACK COMEDY - by Conor Oberst
Once I gave a look to you but you never gave it back. So here I stand expressionless, but my memory's intact. I guess the past is good for a laugh, a comedy so dry and black. It makes my stomach hurt so bad that I cried.
Two thumbs up we give this one, despite its predictable ending. The dialogue seemed rushed and wrong, but the actors did their best to place some worth on every word, like coffins dropped into the earth. The saddest sound we ever heard...we sang along...
We sang it...take this weight away, take this weight away..."
ermm yes that's right. I wrote this after listening to bright eyes for weeks over and over. part of a series of pieces.. they all contain BE references. And yeh I love that song so much
damn..I give this the best compliment that I know of which is to say that it makes me want to grab a pen and try to write something HALF as good...I think this is close to perfect...every word is right
wilderness, this is a real gem.. i really liked the she said stanza... great conversation poem... every once and awhile when i'm bored and it's nice.. i'll go to somewhere with people hanging around and write down snippets of overheard conversations and try to make them poetry... this sort of reminded me of that.
omfg.. wilderness overdose today. you are a f.ucking genius. i am speechless. how do you do it? are you writing these all now or are they stock? cause if you're doing them now you're so f.ucking prolific! i dont have any criticism for this.. i love it!
Submission Name: black comedy
