Description: This is another poem using the first line of a poem by Jim Morrison. I use this as a writing exercise and sometime I like what I come up with.
December Isles -------------------------------------------
December Isles
of white shrouded solitude
bare black branches
scratch winter sky
hissing wind
stark crescendo
flecked with shards of light
Excellent imagery, although the meaning of "scratch winter sky" is a little unclear. On the other hand, that might just be me. ^_^ I like how you used opposite colors, at the beginning (black and white):it really helps to show the contrast of the branches and the isle. Good job!
This shows a very creative mind yourself! I'm not sure I'm seeing what you had in mind, I see trees peeking out of snowbanks, little islands of dark amidst the white, and of course the scratching at the sky in the wind. I would have chosen a few words different here and there, but that is to be expected in something as personal as poetry. But flawless work! Dave
created a vivid picture in my mind of... december isles! good, well written, you have skills making people imagine stuff. dunno what else to say, except for, keep writing.
Once again you describe things very well. You aren't vague in any of the poems I read so far. I agree with eve1684, it sets a great atmosphere. Neat writing exercise! Jan
I like the feeling this poem gives me. your imagery is great. it is not only vivid but also sets an atmosphere. very well done. interesting writing exercise you have.
I like the saccadic rythm especially from 3rd verse to 6th. A bit of horror movie background atmosphere. I like the general description small, but I think with a little work would make a nice duo of haikus. good work.
Submission Name: December Isles
