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    dots Submission Name: December Islesdots

    Author: redthewitch
    ASL Info:    36/f/tiny rural village
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 267/175/26
    Words: 22
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1272
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 188

       This is another poem using the first line of a poem by Jim Morrison. I use this as a writing exercise and sometime I like what I come up with.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDecember Islesdots

    December Isles
    of white shrouded solitude
    bare black branches
    scratch winter sky
    hissing wind
    stark crescendo
    flecked with shards of light

    Submitted on 2004-08-09 10:59:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Excellent imagery, although the meaning of "scratch winter sky" is a little unclear. On the other hand, that might just be me. ^_^
    I like how you used opposite colors, at the beginning (black and white):it really helps to show the contrast of the branches and the isle. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Ajyra | [ Reply to This ]
      This shows a very creative mind yourself! I'm not sure I'm seeing what you had in mind, I see trees peeking out of snowbanks, little islands of dark amidst the white, and of course the scratching at the sky in the wind. I would have chosen a few words different here and there, but that is to be expected in something as personal as poetry. But flawless work!
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      created a vivid picture in my mind of... december isles! good, well written, you have skills making people imagine stuff. dunno what else to say, except for, keep writing.
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]
      Once again you describe things very well. You aren't vague in any of the poems I read so far. I agree with eve1684, it sets a great atmosphere. Neat writing exercise!
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the feeling this poem gives me. your imagery is great. it is not only vivid but also sets an atmosphere. very well done. interesting writing exercise you have.
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow you are really good with the imagry thing. i really likedt this. it is short but you can tell that it is finnished. great write lia
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the saccadic rythm especially from 3rd verse to 6th. A bit of horror movie background atmosphere.
    I like the general description small, but I think with a little work would make a nice duo of haikus.
    good work.
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by babyblue002 | [ Reply to This ]

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