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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: December Islesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: redthewitch
    ASL Info:    36/f/tiny rural village
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 267/175/26
    Words: 22
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1137
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 188



    Description:
       This is another poem using the first line of a poem by Jim Morrison. I use this as a writing exercise and sometime I like what I come up with.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDecember Islesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    December Isles
    of white shrouded solitude
    bare black branches
    scratch winter sky
    hissing wind
    stark crescendo
    flecked with shards of light




    Submitted on 2004-08-09 10:59:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Excellent imagery, although the meaning of "scratch winter sky" is a little unclear. On the other hand, that might just be me. ^_^
    I like how you used opposite colors, at the beginning (black and white):it really helps to show the contrast of the branches and the isle. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by Ajyra | [ Reply to This ]
      This shows a very creative mind yourself! I'm not sure I'm seeing what you had in mind, I see trees peeking out of snowbanks, little islands of dark amidst the white, and of course the scratching at the sky in the wind. I would have chosen a few words different here and there, but that is to be expected in something as personal as poetry. But flawless work!
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      created a vivid picture in my mind of... december isles! good, well written, you have skills making people imagine stuff. dunno what else to say, except for, keep writing.
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]
      Once again you describe things very well. You aren't vague in any of the poems I read so far. I agree with eve1684, it sets a great atmosphere. Neat writing exercise!
    Jan
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the feeling this poem gives me. your imagery is great. it is not only vivid but also sets an atmosphere. very well done. interesting writing exercise you have.
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow you are really good with the imagry thing. i really likedt this. it is short but you can tell that it is finnished. great write lia
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the saccadic rythm especially from 3rd verse to 6th. A bit of horror movie background atmosphere.
    I like the general description small, but I think with a little work would make a nice duo of haikus.
    good work.
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by babyblue002 | [ Reply to This ]


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