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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tree Debrisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: angela~
    Elite Ratio:    6.45 - 1613/720/52
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 189



    Description:
       I would like to dedicate this to my friend Magnicat. She has the soul of a tiger with the heart of a kitten, and loves Autumn as much as I do. Cheer up lady. Feel the breeze.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTree Debrisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fermenting leaf pile
    wet, damp, fragrant.
    Sticks, twigs and tree debris
    detritus from a lush season.
    As the trees shed their coats
    we put on ours.




    Submitted on 2004-08-11 11:31:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know why but it made me laugh. The idea of trees shedding their coats as we put on ours...I'm afraid I'm in a silly mood and it conjured up a picture of a giant oak taking off a fir coat with 2 branches...running it's 'fingers' through the remainder of the leaves which then fall off at the same time as the coat and the coat lands on some person walking by and obviously fits perfectly...I think I may need help...I like it! I think you also just ridded me of my writers block...DUDE!
    -AC
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by StarAcabar | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very short and sweet. The entire thing reminded me of my writing I class when we sat outside doing some odd form of poetry that I forgot what it was called. Although I do not konw how grade or judge things that are so short and minimalistic, it seemed fairly nice to me. I do not know any requirements behind it... Was it short for a reason say a specific requirement or was it like this for the heck of it all? I guess that I should take in to consideration that just because you are the most "giving" member it does not mean that you are necessarily the "best" However, I do hold you with a lot of authority compared to other writers on this site-- which should most like ;lly be a bad thing... Sorry! I'm just rambling now. It's 3 am and I can't sleep.
    | Posted on 2004-11-13 00:00:00 | by falloutgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      With the exception of one silly comment, I think that you have received just praise for such [a wonderful little treat. Minimalism is not a strong suit of mine. This piece was fantastic in grasping an overall view of the season in so few lines.

    I absolutely love the idea of the trees shedding their coats as we pull ours out of the closet.

    This takes me back to the days when I was growing up in Michigan. I miss Autumn. I'm down south now and must only dream of the changing leaves that fall from the trees.

    Beautiful piece, Angela!

    -SS
    | Posted on 2004-11-08 00:00:00 | by Stalking Sylvia | [ Reply to This ]
      disregarding what a person who shall remain nameless stated before me I feel though this is short and simplistic, it is also a beautiful tribute to ones love for the season of autumn. Obviously the image you paint by stating


    "As the trees shed their coats
    we put on ours."

    was over some heads...Why people feel the need to leave such pointless comments bashing a beautiful piece such as this is beyond me. A piece such as this helps me to enjoy fall more then I used to. Thank you for sharing this piece.It's far better then some would give you credit for.I believe you know who Im talking about.Excellent work, I intend to read more of your pieces.-John
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sure I'm not saying anything anyone else hasn't said, but I wanted to say how much I enjoyed this poem and its simplicity and beauty. Very nostalgic. The end itself symbolizes the beginning of a new season; a new phase of life. At least that's what I felt when I read it. I look forward to reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by ber | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, that is so sweet. I really love her too and hope she feels better. I really like this poem. It's a great little minimalist tribute to autumn. Fall isn't all that cold here, but it feels better than the weather now.
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is delightful Angela ! I loved the original bit about the trees shedding their coats, while we start wearing ours.

    It is written with a simple minimalist structure, resembling some Japanese forms with the nature theme suddenly shifting to a different, yet related thought. Excellent.
    Silver
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Succinct. Took me right to leaf pile - honestly I was lured by the thought of fermentation, but I got there and teetotaled happily as I played in the leaves - thnx for a good little trip.
    shard
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a nice little write A...I like it...i love fall a beautiful season...sort of seems like fall today it being so cool outside and the breeze...i like the last line...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      I remember this one as well. I'm still digging it. This one really paints a picture of what its like in Chicago right now. Not quite fall yet, no, but it sure feels like it. Slight breeze blowing around and its somewhere in the 60s right now. It gives me a reason to wear my army jacket out.

    ~Aaron
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
      The trees take off their coats as we put ours on? Good idea, and I bet you could build this with more imagery. What would appeal more to the senses of sight, scent, and feel. What about adding some sounds, or tastes?
    This is almost begging to be let out of the box!
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Well this is a nice little write. Just a bit early though! I totally understand what you mean by fermenting, but it is a slightly odd choice of word (because of its usual usage) Good job on the short, ironic, seasonal observation.
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      i have to say that i really liked this one. the way you discribed the whole thing made me feel as though i was there right now wich would be nice because it is suposed to be in the hundres here today. great job i loved the whole thing there is not a single part that i could lingle out. lia
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      i remember this one! yes! i love the line about us putting on our coats as the trees shed theres. that is cool! thank you so much for the sweet dedication. you made me teary, but that is a good thing 'cause i need the release. and i can feel the breeze, too (actually, there is a fan at my back! lol). you've brightened my otherwise dreary day!
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      i probably cant add much to what's already been said.. but i love this. nothing compares to autumn... you've captured the essence of it in this poem. because if you think about what autumn could imply.. despite its breathtaking beauty.. there's still a sense of loss in the air.. things coming to an end..

    and i love the way you bring it back to what it means to us as people.. not just looking at it as a nature poem but reflecting on its effect on us. great poem.
    | Posted on 2004-08-22 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      Life keeps rolling on my friend, and though it may not have been your original intension to show this message it's what I took out of it...now I know what you're gonna say, "I thought you like to take my poems literally"...Well I like to think of this one in a more subliminal sense. Thanks for your comments again, they are much appreciated...and thanks for this poem..it reminded me of my inevitable death...thanks
    | Posted on 2004-08-23 00:00:00 | by SKillz_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a really nice piece, and very appropriately timed for the changing season...brings a nice picture, a nice smell of the end of a wet, lush season...and it is a wierd though that trees bare all to the cold...it is their hot...

    in a different look, it is interesting to see this as commentary...the more fruitful and productive the season, society, etc, the more there is at the end to clean up...of course, trees handle this quite naturally, shedding that which the ground, the insects use as food and fodder...it should be an example to us, that because we are so prosperous we have even more of a responsibility and ability to leave only that which can take care of itself, or which will benifit others...

    but i think i might contaminate a lovely poem by looking too deep...as always, your ability to convey natural scenes comes off so well...no overblown descriptiveness or teary eyed glamorizing...just watching the weather change...very nice angela...

    james
    | Posted on 2004-08-24 00:00:00 | by FallenGrace | [ Reply to This ]


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