I'll Always Love You by Leala

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Submission Name: I'll Always Love You dots

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Author:	Leala
Elite Ratio:	3.72 - 245/299/70
Words:	119

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	355
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	712

Description:
Hmm. this was my attempt at being more visual rather than frank, I think I wrote this in 2002.

Btw you get to decide whether this is a funeral or a wedding ;-)

I'll Always Love You dots

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My eyes are black,
my skin is pale,
my lips are read,
Behind my veil.

Before me lies this;
gray slick hard as stone,
yet blood red and soft as clouds...

On your chest lies a red rose,
signifying the end of one life,
and yet the beginning of another.

The words the preacher utters fall on a deaf ear..
my body is working without command from me.
I can think of no other I've loved so unconditionally.

Every eye on me...
can they see my tears?
I will never forget this day.

Am I hearing things.
or did you just say,
" I do."

Submitted on 2004-02-17 20:22:56 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Hello Trishia,

This one is a little different; in response to your description I think it could be a funeral or a wedding.

the eyes black and skin pale may be visual or may be something that describes a feeling. What is curious is “the lips are read”, it is another homophone, what I noticed is that you have that in another write; here it shares two meanings in the context. Behind my veil may also be applied two ways. One: as a physical characteristic of attire, two: as a protection from those looking on. Perhaps it is an element of nervousness.

Another part that has me thinking on this is the “gray slick as stone” I think of headstone but I also think of something that is permanent, yes like what the headstone would signify, here you can parallel that to the marriage for someone who feels like it is a life ending. I am really trying to solve the blood red and soft as cloud riddle. I would think the blood red might mark tragedy and perhaps colors of love. The soft as clouds I would think that would be an emotional state.

the next stanza is tougher, in one aspect you have: on your chest lies a red rose. Literally that pulls me into the funeral scenario however symbolically it would bring me to the marriage aspect of it. Even the next two lines have that same effect: to end one life and begin another. You can fit the afterlife into the other life and marriage life, both fit perfectly.

The words of the preacher, falling on deaf ears again does resonate quite well in both aspects. I think many men have the lulled effect as those vows are read, it I am willing to bet some women do too. The part with never have loving someone so unconditionally again does share its meanings in dual dimensions.

“every on me” at a wedding onlookers are looking at the two getting married and at a funeral often people look at those most effected by the loss. This also is a feeling all eyes on me does have a creepiness to it that does go well with the funeral aspect. the tears part I will relate to later. never forgetting the day, again, it is harmonious to both, though humorously I must say that men tend to forget the date

the final stanza am I hearing things or did you just say I do? That has a compelling significance to both. One part of it I think of the person getting married as waking from a dream and the other more harder hitting aspect relates to the line “can they see my tears?” I am getting goosebumps now ha, ha thanks a lot. The answer to the question is I do from the one who is dead; as if a ghost were answering.

This one really blew me away, it is very consistent through out, it has some very chilling aspects to it. Marriage and death, though they seem worlds apart, they do share some stunning parallels, it took a marvelous hand to show that. I love it. Thanks for the opportunity to read such a magnificent piece.

~mike
| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  wow...this was very creative and I enjoyed reading this! I was thinking the whole time how sad it is that there are a lot of people out there that look at their wedding as a funeral and then read one of the comments left and sure enough! It never fails!
Either way I really liked the fact that this could be taken in different ways, it always adds a nice element to a piece. I'm glad Mike fav'd it so that I could check it out!

Candi
| Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  hmmmmm are you my ex wife? her ears were definitely deaf when they mentioned vows, or was my wedding a funeral? oh well i dont know..... nicely done.... keep em coming
| Posted on 2004-02-18 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]

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