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Tea Cup of Pain

Author: Voodoo_Lounge
ASL Info:    21/F/OH
Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 408 /588 /171
Words: 126
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1003
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 777


very different from the usual. stems from no experience of late.

Tea Cup of Pain

He promised to protect me.
Said i had the warmest heart.
That he never believed in fate before me.
Said i kept him from falling apart....

I know people can change,
Time has taught me this.
But words can't kill the suffering,
And scars won't be erased by a kiss.

My pain is like a tea cup.
Filled clear to the brim,
I want to move on from this
But can i move on from him?

I knew there would be a choice,
Of that i was quite sure.
Something in me... not enough
For he has chosen her.

I'd fallen for another scheme.
Consuming lie upon lie.
But as badly as i hurt right now,
Over him, i refuse to cry.

Submitted on 2004-02-17 21:44:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i liked this. I liked the whole filled up tea cup thing.
| Posted on 2004-02-18 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
  Ilike your rhyme and flow in this piece, but this is almost like you are in denial of your own talent, you have written much deeper emotionally based writes... like the comparison to the tea cup being full, kind of original.... this piece when compared to your other works reads kind of weak... keep em coming
| Posted on 2004-02-18 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to agree with the others. Not your best work, but okay. The last line feels stilted to me. Too many syllables? Not sure. Sure liket the tea cup idea though. I have a love for teacups.
| Posted on 2004-02-18 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
  i agree with silver in the sense that it wasnt your most powerful writing, but i liked it all the same. i wouldnt change anything, the rhyme and ryhtmn are flowing. nice imagery too. the tea cup is way cool
| Posted on 2004-02-17 00:00:00 | by love gone wrong | [ Reply to This ]
  Certainly not the best work I have read of yours, and though the rythm is ok, in places it seems contrived. Perhaps it's because as you say, it all stmes from no personal experience.That's what I feel here..a lack of conviction, of emotion...passion.There's not enough substance to hold one's interest for long, certainly not to keep coming back to it like some of your others. I do like the tea cup idea though, I think you take that somewhere sometime. Silver
| Posted on 2004-02-17 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

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