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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waiting In The Shadowsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PolaroidMemory
    ASL Info:    18/F/IN
    Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 99/93/28
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 467
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 837



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaiting In The Shadowsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The pain inside was so strong
    Nights and days, they seemed so long
    Without you here with me,
    Everything is so hard to see
    The nights are cold, the days are the same
    When I sleep, I call out your name
    Tomorrow seems so far away
    I can't wait, for you to say
    "I'm home again and I won't leave.
    Your pain is hard for me to concieve."
    And back to you, I will say,
    "Tomorrow is another day.
    When I awake, you'll be by my side."
    But for now, my tears I can't hide.
    I cry alone as I wait for you
    I feel so lonely, I feel so blue.
    I found your picture, all tattered and worn
    Why can't you see, that my heart is torn?
    I'm waiting in the shadows for a long lost love.




    Submitted on 2004-08-11 22:15:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ok i really really like this it reminds me so much of my X. but why does this go form being past tens in the first two lines then present throw out the rest of the poem? im not sure if you ment for this or if it was a misstake. i would try to clear this up a little.

    (if you want to change this all too present tens then just: change
    "The pain inside was so strong
    Nights and days, they seemed so long"

    "The pain inside is so strong
    Nights and days, they seem so long" )

    if you want to keep this in the past then add some thing to the fact of life being cold befor him then say that its now cold sence he has left then go into the rest of the poem.
    well this is just my thoughts on it. like i said this is really go the way it is. nice job.
    | Posted on 2004-08-11 00:00:00 | by wretched_muse | [ Reply to This ]



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