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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blue Childdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 783
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 398



    Description:
       I'm getting weird. I wrote this in blue ink, so that's what inspired it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlue Childdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This poem is my blue child
    from a marriage of my tired mind
    and my melancholic soul
    wept from the eye of a ragged pen.
    These indigo word-tears grow and multiply
    like dividing embryonic cells,
    and with this odd nativity,
    I clumsily cut the cord,
    unleash my offspring upon this turbulent world
    and await its reception with love and fear.




    Submitted on 2004-08-12 04:02:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      So great to experience your writing again! How well you capture the relationship between the creator and it's creation. I am a mother as well as a writer and the feeling is very much the same for both. "Wept from the eye of a ragged pen" What a moving line! Great imagery and emotion.
    | Posted on 2004-08-13 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good. It is like once you release the words onto the paper, they are born. Brought into the world and given life. how will they be recieved? With wonderment and joy, I believe.
    | Posted on 2004-08-13 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good piece, you should be proud of it. the way you described the ink running onto the page sparked a perfect image of a fountain pen with golden nib.

    I could see the letters forming too... a beautifully crafted poem laden with imagination, here. good work!
    | Posted on 2004-08-12 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I really thought this sucked. That is, until the last three lines. When I read those, it was like a redemption for all the lines before them.
    | Posted on 2004-08-12 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this, Amy! i can't even pick out one line in particular, because they all grabbed me right off the bat this tired morning... our poems are like our children, and i understood well your waiting "with love and fear" how they will be received upon this world. very well done! i like the way you use the blue because you wrote it in blue ink! unique.
    | Posted on 2004-08-12 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Gee, this would make a wonderful introduction to a book of your work. It seems unended to me, and at first I had this negative reaction because of that. Then I read it a few more times, and it came to me. Very nice.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-08-12 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write! I like the ‘word tears’ line, maybe you just want to hyphenate it to make it clear [word-tears]. Don't think you need to make any other changes.

    I especially like the first line, describing it that way reminded me of Van Gogh [he was the one with the ‘blue’ period, wasn’t he? Sorry, the little guy kept us awake last night, and I ain’t all here….
    | Posted on 2004-08-12 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great. that's how poets do it. their poems are their babys. your images here are amazing. my favourite part were the lines about the marriage. great poem.
    | Posted on 2004-08-12 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]


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