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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Anotherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 565



    Description:
       This is a very old one. I literally wrote this when I was 12. I've done minor revisions over the years, but it's actually changed little.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnotherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I saw you dancing with another.
    I can't help wondering if she's your lover.
    You held her close the way you used to hold me,
    the way we used to be.

    I'll never forget the look in your eyes.
    I guess those sweet words were lies.
    You told her that she was the only one;
    Well, what about me?

    I'll never forget the look on your face:
    it was the look you gave to me
    I'll never forget your smile;
    she took your smile from me.




    Submitted on 2004-02-18 00:11:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this, but it seems kinda unfinished. Like you have a good start, and a good pattern of thought...but then it just randomly stops, like you have more to say but didn't have time to write it.
    | Posted on 2004-02-23 00:00:00 | by deadlydarkdevil | [ Reply to This ]
      another nice piece Cuds, however sweet contains one e... just pickin on ya tho.... I like how each stanza just flows like water through the first three lines, then comes to a screeching halt on the fourth line... wouldnt work too good if each stanza didnt have this effect... but with the negative in the fourth lines, it almost makes me want to pout and feel what you are feeling in them.... nicely done, very talented
    | Posted on 2004-02-18 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]


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