My Body Remembers -------------------------------------------
My body remembers you as well as my mind.
My hands still feel you holding them as we danced.
These feet still feel your nudges beneath the table.
My hair will never forget your breath.
This neck still tingles from your kisses.
Sometimes the invisible, pleasurable scars you've left
come alive as I try to sleep
memories flood my mind,
and sleep comes in slow felicitous waves.
this is a great write, it seems like a break up nad everything you are around makes you rememebr that person, and the things that they used to do, how they act, everything about them, this was truly beautiful.
i dont see what the issue with pleasurable scars is..? i'm assuming that you used 'scars' because of the very fact that you are remembering rather than reliving.. the poem does have a very sensuous yet loving feel to it.. i loved the lines: "These feet still feel your nudges beneath the table" ... there are rituals and memories and love.. all in a very straightforward approach in this poem... it's a very accessible poem which is always refreshing.
This is very sensual. It reminds me "The Sensual World" written and composed by Kate Bush. It's so sexual and authentic. I like the idea of scars - usually scar is considered as a negative thing, but here it's far more sacred than anything else. Very good.
scar: "a mark left by the healing of injured tissue" is what it says when i looked it... hmmm... putting scar together with pleasurable, it's like he is the healing of wounds that perhaps he didn't make, right? put that way, it's really cool. i like the ending, with the "felicitous waves." that's a comforting image. it is amazing how our bodies remember someone's touch or their smell or their breath in our hair (very nice touch with that one, Amy!)... well done!
I like the pleasureable scars. I think they fit very well, pleasureable flesh memories is too long and doesn't sound so good (I'm going for the sound again ). you've got 'feel' two times in there but it's okay. I can't think of another word to replace it either. it's a really good passionate poem. well done, Amy.
Good Morning! you know I was feeling this, really feeling it, and it was nice, but one little thing that kind of puzzled me was the phrase pleasureable scars. I understand where you were going with that, but the normlal connotation of scars isn't that pleasant, so it threw me off the mood just a bit. Of all the imagery in the piece I think I liked your feet feeling the nudges under the table best. Nudges is just the single most perfect word to use in that spot. Hey, off to face the day. Dave