Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Supermandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bentnotbroken
    ASL Info:    25+/m/middle of nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 351/260/38
    Words: 528
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 1683
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2920



    Description:
       This piece is definitely not where I thought it would go. I'm not sure how it got to where it is now, but I hope it ddn't get too far off. Anyway, there's profanity in this, so consider yourself warned. Comments and criticism are appreciated--hope you like it, or at least get something out of it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSupermandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Superman? Yeah. . . well, I used to be--I don't do that anymore. Hell, I do my best to be good now, much less super, and as you can see from the bottle, even good's out of reach on occasion.
    A hero? Don't make me laugh. Heroes are awful hard to come by, and I am definitely not one. To be a hero, you have to have someone to save.
    Look, I'm in no mood for a lecture; I've heard it all before: "There are innocents that need to be saved and evil that needs to be thwarted." Let me tell you something--there are no innocents and evil is a pain in the ass to thwart. Besides, no one wants to be saved anymore. Everybody's content with their own private hell, and I'd appreciate it if you let me get back to mine.
    -----
    Don't ask me that. I hear it all the time. People like you always want to know, "What happened to you?" or "What's wrong with you?" There's not a damn thing wrong with me--it's the world that's screwed up. When a person tries his best to help people day in, day out and the only thing he gets in return is "Why aren't you doing more?" it gets very old, very fast. When a person does all he can to. . . nevermind. This is an old argument; just leave me be.
    -----
    Do you not understand English? LEAVE ME ALONE. I don't want to talk about it. How the Hell is talking to you going to help? It'll make me feel better? Yeah, every time I need to cheer myself up, I drag out the past and dredge up some old ghosts. Ghosts, by the way, with very personal vendettas and absolutely no consciences. Their only purpose is to cause me pain and they are very good at it, so forgive me, but I don't see how talking is going to help.
    Healing? Don't make me laugh. I'm the man of steel--I'm invulnerable; nothing can hurt me. Except Kryptonite, right. Only there hasn't been any Kryptonite around for years. What? What about the past? Sure it can hurt, but there's nothing you can do but deal with it.
    If I tell you about it, will you go away? She cheated on me, okay. I came in from saving the world, again, and she was with someone else. Are you happy now? How did it make me feel? I was pissed--rightfully so, I think. I mean how would you feel if you walked in and found the woman you love fucking somebody else?
    -----
    Look; I'm sorry I lost it. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that; I know you were only trying to help. You need to understand though, that some things can't just be talked out, and for me this is one of those things. Her betrayal hurt me more than anything--even dying. That's why I walked away. I lost my faith in everything that was good. She was the embodiment of everything I wanted to protect, to save. When I lost that, I lost my reason for being a hero.




    Submitted on 2004-08-13 10:19:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow
    this is a very thematic piece. i mean, the first time i read it through it seemed witty and sarcastic (which it is) but its also got some deep interpretations.
    youve taken an icon of good and broken him down. youve talked about how everyone is evil and everyone can be good without being super. youve talked about betrayal of trust.
    this sort of struck a cord within me. i can really empathize with superman and his problems. and i love the conclusion.
    to tell you the truth i cant name anything i would change in this. this is one of the best works ive read. great job!
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by jonsmithy | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an awesome take on superman... i gotta say i much loved the sarcastic get the hell out of my face tone about this write... and as i read it outloud i could actually hear it... i almost was superman for a minute...
    "Hell, I do my best to be "good" now, much less "super," and as you can see from the bottle, even good's out of reach on occasion."
    this is such a good line... you kinda get the picture of a fat balding old man who just wants to be left the hell alone... who has spent years festering over it all... reliving the moment again and again and again...
    'Everybody's content with their own private hell, and I'd appreciate it if you let me get back to mine.'
    this is sadly quite an accurate description of the world today... and i dont know if there ever could be a super hero who would save us from it...
    anyways you are prolly sick of me by now so i will leave you be for now... thanks for letting me read all your stuff that ive read tonight... you seriously have some style!
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      this is the anthem of a simple man not a superman. this piece is very thematic which is good. but personally its almost like a diary entry lol. dude i can relate to this so much because of the high expectations that people have of me. you can do this and that but i cant and im tired of doing at someones beckon call. good job on writing this
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      very insightfull, you portray a very believable heartbroken man who has lost his faith, with a little work this could be awesome, if you could lengthen this a bit and add some referalls to the charectors life in comparison to then and now, for instance I would wake up and be passionate about stopping lex but since I found the one true love of my life lying under "you choose name" I cannot bring myself to feel valiant or heroic, I mean what's the use, you might even act as if his friend jimmy is the one questioning him,
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]
      oh yeah, *sigh* great piece! ~and I really hope this was not a form of biography, as that would suck much ass. Poor Superman...
    | Posted on 2004-09-08 00:00:00 | by hushedhavoc | [ Reply to This ]
      Poor broken hearted Superman shows that love, and the hurt caused by it, can strip you of all motivation and reason for living and, of course, that females are evil (Don't attack me girls, I'm female too). Aside from just teaching us these two very valuable lessons, Superman serves as a symbol of anyone whose life has ever been recklessly torn apart after they had found stability and contentment.
    | Posted on 2004-09-08 00:00:00 | by hushedhavoc | [ Reply to This ]
      Once again, this is all too true. I enjoyed the addition to your piece. I've been contemplating this whole Superhero idea though, and if this sin Superman and he is invincible to everything then why should he have these feelings. Its a silly idea dn i dont believe in it 100%, but I thoguht of it and I jsut thought I'd throw it out there. I like yoru piece the way it is though, just thought I'd spit that out for the sake of. Nice addition, once again.
    --Kayla
    | Posted on 2004-08-13 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      Well well well, this was intriguing. My brain is mush but I think I can say what I want to. This shows the typical way we live. We can't help someone who doesn't ask for it first, and we can't try because we might get hurt if we do (physically? emotionally?). I think you show a great message of understanding the world and how stupid it can be. Bravo for such a truthful piece.
    | Posted on 2004-08-13 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh yay, Superman this si a favorite topic of mine:O) Anyway the only thing I can catch in this piece is this sentence here,

    "Hell, I do my best to be "good" now, much less "super," and as you can see from the bottle, even good's out of reach on occasion."

    Its got good meaning, but the quotations make the line seem clichéd for some reason. Otherwise this piece of prose was really good. I hope you continue with it, and if you do keep my updated:O)
    --Kayla
    | Posted on 2004-08-13 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah Superman, I love this topic and this piece very much so. I REALLY like where you took this piece, normally most stories are clichéd and you know what to expect, but having the girl show up as being the reason behind his misery kinda snapped me in the butt. Not what I was expecting at all. So kudos to you for catching me and I'm certain many other readers off guard.
    Ummmm I got to this line in paragraph 4:

    "How many the Hell is talking to you going to help? "

    I think the many is the onyl things thats not supposed to be there, but that kinda threw me off a bit.

    Anyway great addition to this write. I really enjoyed reading it:O)
    -Kayla
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    20930

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Every..... written by jackz
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fasade written by jackz
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry