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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Contemporary Heartsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dalelord
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 22/23/8
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1834
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1263



    Description:
       A rambling poem. Different meanings for all. Based on personal thoughts. I'm not sure if this is true to them. Hopefully a discusser... thoughts, ideas, comments, and critiques are nice.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsContemporary Heartsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The thought of a girl,
    A woman, a lover,
    What is this to see,
    A need, want, or buffer,
    Necessary to who?
    The thought makes some suffer:

    A confused boy,
    A growing man,
    A piece of plastic,
    Blowing in a fan,

    Hurt comes from confusion,
    Love comes from where?
    The heart speaks the truth?
    Does the mind even care.

    Silohettes in memories,
    Which curtain to choose.
    Where does one find,
    Answers: unruse

    Inprison the mind?
    Let the heart run free?
    Confrontational ideas,
    These functions don't agree.

    What would the heart do,
    If one sets it free?
    Uncontrolable performance,
    Good for soul, concievably bad for thee

    Minds take control,
    Leaves every rock unturned,
    But the look on the world;
    Fun and Creativity burned

    Time tells a tale,
    Thoughts paint the pictures,
    Continue the adventure,
    Or add the new to the mixtures.


    Life is a quest for love,
    Love can be a dragon too bold,
    Love can be too many things,
    That contempory hearts are sold




    Submitted on 2004-08-15 02:12:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this. I foudn that each staza sort of spoke to me in a way. It was very interesting. The flow of it worked well for me.
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      Easier to get the message in this one. Showing much more promise. Punctuation needs to be looked at. Rythym and flow need some work,
    but still a decent piece of work.
    Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]
      I get the feeling And the meaning , I have no problem with the grammer as if I would.
    the flow is off and it would lead some readers confused not i though, but some. besides that I love it I is very strong with emotion.
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by slybee22 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    21150

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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