[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Epitaphdots

    Author: solitary_cross
    ASL Info:    19/female/Philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.4 - 92/107/24
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 716
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 799

       Actually, the idea of this poem came from one of my thoughts about death. What if I died and no one ever visited my tombstone? That is the question that kept on lingering in my mind that it became stuck there until I started writing about it. I'm just a newbie here so have mercy a little! ^_^

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Staring at the constant hands
    Of this fragile face
    A mournful wind swept
    The inescapable remains

    Reminder of the past
    Brought by the hurling waves
    Etching out a sign
    That warm hands once made

    Bare fingers moved through
    The unwanted slopes of sand
    Tracing a fateful imprint
    So familiar, yet so vague

    The distant carmine sphere
    Evincing its mortality
    Fell into the clutches
    Of the celestial eve

    Curtains of truth
    Slowly closed themselves
    Incarcerating memories
    Of sorrow and regret

    Drifting back to the oblivion
    I glanced at the ring of time
    Never again to turn
    Against the flow of existence

    Submitted on 2004-08-15 06:59:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love the movement of this. 'hurling waves', "bare fingers move through the sand", "a mournful wind swept" jsut tomention a few. I felt I was moving with each line, that I was going somewhere.
    This a beautiful piece that was soulfully written. I am adding it as a favorite
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Tarwen Nevle | [ Reply to This ]
      the lines in this didn't really connect. it seemed like a lot of the time you were just trying to make it sound pretty so you put in big words, but it didn't help to connect the ideas, which are seriously all over the place. i also really don't get these two lines:
    "Staring at the constant hands
    Of this fragile face"
    i mean, i didn't know faces have hands...and these are the first lines of the piece so it needs to start with something a bit stronger.
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by purple dinosaur | [ Reply to This ]
      This wasn't what I expected from a poem called "Epitaph", but it was good. I love the image and texture of the stone you give the reader.

    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      This was nifty It was different and it was written very well in my opinion. I love the whole "flow of time" thing. It gives these piece a nice airy feel to it.
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Every..... written by jackz
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Linger written by saartha
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]