Description: Once again an oldie with no name.... I wrote this poem for a friend of a friend when I was in eighth grade who was going to lose her virginity over some guy who went around the halls talking about how he was going to have sex with her. He talked bad about her all the time behind her back, and plus, she was only fourteen. I wrote this to give to her, and luckily she listened. Not long after, he broke up with her. What a waste it would have been... and such heartbreak too....
Yet Another Untitled -------------------------------------------
Why break yourself now
When you have so much to give;
Why be lost in deceit
When you've got life to live?
Why believe those false words
That poison your mind...
Just turn away now,
And leave him behind.
Why lose hope of trust
When it's already fleeting,
Why take this last step --
It is you he's defeating.
Why shut your blinded eyes
To what is real and true?
If only you could see --
That it'll simply ruin you.
Don't continue in life
With shame and dispair;
You will reap consequences -
And for you, he won't be there.
Why tear down your dreams
That could still come true?
Why waste them on him?
He never cared for you.
Regret will never leave
And memories live on...
Remember what you think right now
Might change once he's gone.
The right choice only waits
You know what it may be;
You have one chance to do this
Don't let the right way flee.
very well done, and like Anarius said, it was EXTREMELY awesome of you to help out a fellow girl like that. I can see that your writing style has really morphed and been polished, but this was a good place for you to start from!
I comment you...even if it was only a friend of a friend...you still did an extremly honourable thing. Its such a waste wen people do things like that, its useless. Especially cause some guys can be complete idiots and just be there for the physical attribute...that bugs me so much...anyway, I thought this was an excellent piece, and I thank you for her.
If most girls had friends who have a friend who writes excellent poetry in school...unjust deflowering (IN SUCH A YOUNG AGE) would be vanquished. I like how you used such a unique approach to bend her illusions and shed light to what's really going on around and behind her. Somehow, the background information drives me further and plants an inspiring want to change a course of something for the better...through Poetry! Much love
i really liked this one althou you know i like all your work even these ones that are from a while back. you have been a great writer for a while. nomater the age. lia
Yeah... unfortunatley guys who would do that do exist and they give guys like me who are at least fairly decent (or try to be anyways... no one's perfect!) a bad reputation. I will agree with Anarius and commend you for intervening with your friend and helping her do the right thing. Seriously, some people need help every once in a while! Anyways, the poem itself was very good. As you have probably noticed, I'm not usually the best supporter of a constant or set rhyming scheme (mostly 'cause I can't do it!). However, you seem to have the ability to rhyme without it seeming forced of unnatural. A very good and satysfing read wiyh a well accomplished flow. All in all a very good peice, keep it up!
Submission Name: Yet Another Untitled
