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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: End Thisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wretched_muse
    ASL Info:    27/f/OH
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 182/205/64
    Words: 231
    Class/Type: Prose/Depressed
    Total Views: 866
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1328



    Description:
       huuu... my thoughts scare me some times. this is me at like 3am when i can't sleep and feeling very alone for many reasions. whats bad is that when i wrote this the idea didnt really seem that bad.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEnd Thisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iím ready to end this now,
    to just stop all the pain.
    All my smiles are no longer worth it.
    Worth the life that two people have given me.
    The only thing that has been given here,
    are lies,
    deceit,
    heartbreak,
    and anger.
    All with an occasional smile that should make every thing all right,
    for a while.

    I am done,
    I am finished,
    whatever lies ahead on the other side.
    I am now ready to face.
    For any type of peace is better then what I have here.

    If nothing awaits me.
    Then I am ready for nothingness.
    For no pain,
    no lies,
    no voices,
    no worries.
    I now welcome the cold darkness that awaits me.

    The only thing left.
    Is to find some one who will help me on my way.
    For I am not able to do it my self.

    You stranger.
    Will you help me?
    It does not matter how you do your deed.
    Make it violent,
    or,
    as I sleep.
    As long as it is done,
    I do not care.
    Do what you will with me.
    Theirs not much that you can,
    that others have not

    So end this for me.
    Iím ready to have it allÖ
    Stop.






    Submitted on 2004-08-15 23:15:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      very well done. i know i've felt this way, and at the moment it seemed very real and very possible, but looking back, i know it's not right. I'm glad you didn't do anything rash.

    The content is superb- very good writing. I think you need to fix some of the punctuation, though. You've got a good start as far as that goes, but you've got some fragmented sentences, and too many commas is some places. Just go through and polish, and then this is truly a great piece.
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]
      My question to you is; Do you look back on these words with any emotion? When you think of how you were feeling that night, do you think it was something you could of dealt with better? Or will you always feel justified by that moment of lonlieness? I did like the peice and thought you communicated your feelings thouroughly. However it lacked a certain angle or approach and thus brought it very close to the "spoon feeding" borderline that we all walk so boldly.
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by Stimyou | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa. Its a thought I'm sure many people have had, and amazingly I think its how many people would have had it. Thoughts race through ones mind, with only smiles to break the wall of anger and such. I like the ending. I like the all. Wicked nice work here. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by Dalelord | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW... this is awesome... you have got my vote as a great writer, you have a spelling mistake but that is just typing for ya... i do it all the time. good job... keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by GhiHaD | [ Reply to This ]
      you gave the message well, but I hope that you would never actually go through with this...just remember that someone always has it worse than you do. And killing yourself won't bring you to a better place.
    | Posted on 2004-08-16 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]


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