Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sorrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadpoet
    ASL Info:    18/f/ Miami, Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 44/66/27
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 357
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 735



    Description:
       tell me what you think about it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSorrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tears streak out from mourning eyes,
    Life is dimmed in murky darkness,
    Dreams and hopes begin to die,
    Emptiness you caress,
    This is sorrow.

    Dreams turn to nightmares,
    Life is solid stone,
    You become encumbered with many fears,
    In the night you moan,
    This is sorrow.

    Cheer turns to dread,
    Happiness fades away,
    Thoughts of despair in your head,
    As minutes become days,
    This is sorrow.

    You stand alone on the grave of dreams,
    Your eyes, happiness, it can no longer see,
    Who has a soul that's empty and a shattered heart,
    Blissful this person can no longer be,
    This is sorrow.




    Submitted on 2004-08-20 22:07:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow. do your reallly feel that way i though it was a good poem but your could add a little more drama in to it maby make it more umm... deep
    | Posted on 2004-08-20 00:00:00 | by kLaDeeDa | [ Reply to This ]
      Descriptive phrases to convey the feeling of sorrow... I thought it was very good. Wonder how it would impact if you write it from a personal perspective instead. ie. change 'your' to 'mine'.
    | Posted on 2004-08-20 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't think the dictionary would have had it any other way. although the poem had a path that made it predictable, the intensity of the emotion you tried to get a hold of, gave it something special to begin with. it is a good poem. it has all that drama in it that allows people to take something from the piece.
    | Posted on 2004-08-21 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      led up to a good ending, pretty blunt, i like that. good choice of words and correlation between them. that last stanza was powerful, and true. thank you ma'am.
    | Posted on 2004-08-21 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.