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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Autumn Withersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadpoet
    ASL Info:    18/f/ Miami, Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 44/66/27
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 365
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 789



    Description:
       another one....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAutumn Withersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Turning gold among the velvet, yielding
    leaves that are green and fresh withering
    off these auburn branches that twitch among
    the winds of fall,
    The whispering of secrets amongst these
    rustling leaves within this season,
    withering off
    fading amongst its beauty, to tarnished
    auburn, gold, orange, amber, and red,
    From immaculate velvet, thriving green to a
    beautiful crunch shade of brown while the
    leaves still fall, Autumn is still
    approaching.
    The leaves of life, the representation of
    mystifying seasons amongst the withering
    leaves who exchange secrets amongst the
    harsh, whistling wind blowing away the
    thought... the wind's secret...
    Autumn is coming.




    Submitted on 2004-08-20 22:09:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the description and visuals you described. I didn't like the format but everything else flowed nicely. Good job.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-08-20 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      it was all that when it stood still and yet remained beautiful throughout. none of the words felt wasted. you did a good job in trying to showcase the profoundness of what was there.
    | Posted on 2004-08-21 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice piece. Well written with good descriptions of the autumn colors. Since I live in Dubai where there is only summer all year long... it's a nice reminder of my fav season of all.
    | Posted on 2004-08-21 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautifully descriptive and well-written. Autumn is my favorite season, and I write about it a lot, so I like the subject. I think that maybe you should change one occurence of auburn to something else. You also used withering and seasons more than once. I'd say withering instead of "withering off." In "From immaculate velvet, thriving green to a/beautiful crunch shade of brown while the/leaves still fall" I'm not sure about your use of "crunch." Maybe you put the wrong word there.
    | Posted on 2004-08-21 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]



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