Dr. Frankenstein stands in front of his class and reads for half an hour directly from the text book. His monotonous droning lulls the students slowly to sleep. This is when he stikes!
"Take out one sheet of college-ruled, loose leaf paper and place your name, the course, and the date in the top, left-hand corner; then number your paper from one to twenty using Roman numerals." He smiles. "And I want this quiz taken in black ink."
Those who have managed to remain conscious during his litany of technical jargon and the soothing sound of his non-voice scramble for the items he mentions and prepare for the dreaded pop quiz. Those who have succumbed to slumber, dreaming peacefully of a classroom where the students actually have weekends off and the professor is never condescending or cruel, are rudely awakened by the violent jostling of those beside them and have only scant moments to prepare.
Dr. Frankenstein unleashes his first barrage of questions and politely gives the students thirty seconds to respond in paragraph form before moving on to the next. For the last question, Dr. Frankenstein gives the students two minutes. The few that get through must wait until time has elapsed before moving to do anything. The doctor refuses to ask a question twice; if a student does not hear the question when it is initially asked, too bad.
The doctor then calls time and walks around the room gathering papers. Those who are still busty writing have their quizzes yanked from beneath their still moving pens, leaving a long, black slash down the page. That will cost them points for neatness.
Doctor Frankenstein then turns to the blackboard and begins to assign homework. He expects the students to read ten chapters in the class novel this weekend and to write a two page synopsis of each chapter for class discussion. He then writes "Have A Nice Day!" on the board beside the assignments, as if that were possible.
The bell rings and the students flee the class like manmade monstrosities trying to escape an angry mob. The doctor smiles. He has survived one more day in his private hell and has transfered a small portion of his torment to the little demons in his classroom.
Although he never takes part in anything school related, he will be extremely glad when the semester ends and his summer vaction begins. He is thinking of spending the first month of his vacation in the Bahamas and the second month preparing new ways to torture. . .teach his students.
He smiles again and leaves the school. He passes students who wave at him and others who try to talk to him, but he ignores them all. He wants to get away from these creatures and spend a quiet night at home with some Romainian food and the ten o'clock news.