Ireally like this. I'm not one for a set or constant rhyming pattern, but you kept it natural so it worked very well. We all know this feeling, trying to write down what is so easy to think but becomes lost in the ink we waste. Thanks for sharing, keep it up.
interesting. i can honestly say that, if this is how you view your writing, i've never heard it described in quite that way. i think this is really good and about the only thing that bothers me about it is the forced rhyme at the end of the second stanza. good job.