[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: An Unkind Elegydots

    Author: AtrophyEmpathos
    ASL Info:    19 M California
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 45/55/29
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1137

       Resubmit. No changes. Seeking comments.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Unkind Elegydots

    Despair, and fall
    Helpless before the Rage.
    No Hope to lose,
    No Heart to love,
    Despair and fall.
    Fall before the rage:
    Consumed and enveloped,
    Carried and destroyed.
    Cry out
    From the crushing blows
    that rain upon your heart.
    Lay down and embrace the cold,
    Draw in sharp breath:
    Emptiness like internal bleeding
    to carry away feeling and choice,
    To own the pain,
    To ignore the shrapnel,
    Jagged through a soft iris.
    Dream no more,
    Suffocate in sleep.
    With no trust,
    Fear all
    In a cradle sewn with nightmares,
    In a long forgotten room,
    Where pleading cries torment the mind:
    Attempts to pull away the gloom;
    They beg you to wake,
    To embrace the world,
    But you only hear murmurs.
    You long ago forgot the language of reality;
    You've drawn the coldest breath,
    Held it close to your heart,
    And let it suffocate.
    So I pray now
    Only that you do the same;

    Submitted on 2004-08-24 03:08:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hey dude..I really dig this poem.. very sentimental with a touch of raw human/animal instinct emotion at the finnishing touch.. very awesome..and fuk all who haven't read this yet..I'm sick of all the fag ass depressed pusy shi.t on here... fuk the emo crap... keep it real man.. and Rock On!
    | Posted on 2004-08-24 00:00:00 | by Ratmeat | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    prison written by ShyOne
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Records I written by Raphael
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]