Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Unkind Elegydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AtrophyEmpathos
    ASL Info:    19 M California
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 45/55/29
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 955
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1137



    Description:
       Resubmit. No changes. Seeking comments.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Unkind Elegydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Despair, and fall
    Helpless before the Rage.
    No Hope to lose,
    No Heart to love,
    Despair and fall.
    Fall before the rage:
    Consumed and enveloped,
    Carried and destroyed.
    Cry out
    From the crushing blows
    that rain upon your heart.
    Lay down and embrace the cold,
    Draw in sharp breath:
    Emptiness like internal bleeding
    to carry away feeling and choice,
    To own the pain,
    To ignore the shrapnel,
    Jagged through a soft iris.
    Dream no more,
    Suffocate in sleep.
    With no trust,
    Fear all
    In a cradle sewn with nightmares,
    In a long forgotten room,
    Where pleading cries torment the mind:
    Attempts to pull away the gloom;
    They beg you to wake,
    To embrace the world,
    But you only hear murmurs.
    You long ago forgot the language of reality;
    You've drawn the coldest breath,
    Held it close to your heart,
    And let it suffocate.
    So I pray now
    Only that you do the same;
    Despair
    Fall
    Die.




    Submitted on 2004-08-24 03:08:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey dude..I really dig this poem.. very sentimental with a touch of raw human/animal instinct emotion at the finnishing touch.. very awesome..and fuk all who haven't read this yet..I'm sick of all the fag ass depressed pusy shi.t on here... fuk the emo crap... keep it real man.. and Rock On!
    | Posted on 2004-08-24 00:00:00 | by Ratmeat | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    21844

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Incubus written by monad
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry