I love angels. I have one in each room of the house...I just really think they are beautiful. back in biblical days though an angel was something you did not want to run into. They were sent to smite and destroy...
How sweet of you you write a poem to honor your boyfriends niece. I think you are right...you need to write poems for all the nieces now that you started...
that's a sweet poem. if your other pieces about his nieces are as nice as this then go on. what are you waiting for?? it remindes me of a photograph I once seen on some website. it was called 'waiting for mommy' and fits so well to your description.
i could see her, golden aura around her with almost white-blond hair... you painted a beautiful picture of this girl, sweet as an angel (at least in the picture! lol!). i like the line "her form nearly dissolved." i have an old bible like this with these little cherub pictures. sweet...
I have always loved the look of Bible angels. I have tried to use that image in a poem myself. The sense I get from you in this is kindof odd, though. It might just be me, but I feel like you're sort of entranced, gazing like mental patient at the beauty of a little girl.
As for offending the other neices, I wouldn't worry about it. Just give 'em some candy. Kids love candy.
One suggestion: change "dissolved" to "dissolves". It makes the image active, which increases the intensity of it for the reader. With the past tense, it feels more second hand - like I'm just hearing of it from you rather than seeing it. (and of course I'm not seeing it, but you do want me to feel that way, don't you?)
Also, perhaps you could replace "pictures" with something a little more specific. "Pictures" is very generic. It could be a photograph or a painting and a caricature. Of course, by context we can know what you mean. You mean the brightly colored drawn prints. Isn't there a name for those? You know, like we have lithographs, watercolors, etc. I just think that it would add a nice element to have a more specific word there.
I like this poem very much. Short but very well written. I think most people see little girls as angels because most of the time they are more polite and well manerred than boys.
I think it would be cool to write poems for the rest of his nieces and make them to suit the individual as this would be a nice keepsake for the rest of their life. Many people don't get poetry written for them let alone about them.
So it is a very good idea. I wrote a few poems for people I like and have had them framed for them as a gift. And the all love it.