[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Like an Angel in an Old Bibledots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 857
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 225

       This was inspired by a picture of my boyfriend's niece, Paige. Now I'll feel guilty if I don't write poems for his other nieces.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike an Angel in an Old Bibledots

    With her blonde hair
    and golden skin
    her form nearly dissolves
    becoming part of the sunlight around her
    gleaming like an angel
    you see in the pictures
    of an old Bible.

    Submitted on 2004-08-25 04:19:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, I like these short images you do. i saw/read this in sepia tones and the title is really cool, it sets a mood of softness.
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      I love angels. I have one in each room of the house...I just really think they are beautiful. back in biblical days though an angel was something you did not want to run into. They were sent to smite and destroy...

    How sweet of you you write a poem to honor your boyfriends niece. I think you are right...you need to write poems for all the nieces now that you started...
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      that's a sweet poem. if your other pieces about his nieces are as nice as this then go on. what are you waiting for??
    it remindes me of a photograph I once seen on some website. it was called 'waiting for mommy' and fits so well to your description.
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      i could see her, golden aura around her with almost white-blond hair... you painted a beautiful picture of this girl, sweet as an angel (at least in the picture! lol!). i like the line "her form nearly dissolved." i have an old bible like this with these little cherub pictures. sweet...
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I have always loved the look of Bible angels. I have tried to use that image in a poem myself. The sense I get from you in this is kindof odd, though. It might just be me, but I feel like you're sort of entranced, gazing like mental patient at the beauty of a little girl.

    As for offending the other neices, I wouldn't worry about it. Just give 'em some candy. Kids love candy.

    One suggestion: change "dissolved" to "dissolves". It makes the image active, which increases the intensity of it for the reader. With the past tense, it feels more second hand - like I'm just hearing of it from you rather than seeing it. (and of course I'm not seeing it, but you do want me to feel that way, don't you?)

    Also, perhaps you could replace "pictures" with something a little more specific. "Pictures" is very generic. It could be a photograph or a painting and a caricature. Of course, by context we can know what you mean. You mean the brightly colored drawn prints. Isn't there a name for those? You know, like we have lithographs, watercolors, etc. I just think that it would add a nice element to have a more specific word there.

    I enjoyed it!
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      nice little poem. i can see her in my head (she's a beauty, btw-grrrowl!) ;-)

    hope you've been good. hectic city around here (systems off-line, which is why i can do this). home just as bad btw school and the kids (don't mind it, just busy!) :-)
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem very much. Short but very well written. I think most people see little girls as angels because most of the time they are more polite and well manerred than boys.

    I think it would be cool to write poems for the rest of his nieces and make them to suit the individual as this would be a nice keepsake for the rest of their life. Many people don't get poetry written for them let alone about them.

    So it is a very good idea. I wrote a few poems for people I like and have had them framed for them as a gift. And the all love it.

    Darren : )
    | Posted on 2004-08-26 00:00:00 | by dax | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Carry written by saartha
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Shi written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]