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    dots Submission Name: Wretch, they rememberdots

    Author: all the english boys
    ASL Info:    15
    Elite Ratio:    2.76 - 173/239/46
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 758


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    dotsWretch, they rememberdots

    speaking of buried mud and stars slipping down my spine
    do you remember the time when it was august
    or maybe late july
    i mean, who can remember these days
    but the idiom of misplaced humidity lurked by the riverside
    and you held the one you loved in the middle of the rapids
    bitter cold currents lashed your shins together and molded them in some heartfelt dance
    not spoiled by the midday sun speckling your necks
    running back towards fields of amber weeds listening to every word you can't seem to remember
    but the dandellions
    they remember
    and you, wretch, seem to wish
    it was sooner to late july
    as the paint chips from your new apartment and the current slows

    Submitted on 2004-08-25 21:39:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i have no idea why the "wretch" seems to wish it was late july, (or why this should be a bad thing...?) but very vivid imagery, memories and decay, like harsh sunlight suddenly bleaching the world that was once clear and cool and beautiful, covered with grease and potato chips. or whatever. liked it.
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it, it made me laugh in a no offensive kind of way, but it was still good. nice imagery and it's good to know stuff still happens to people in the day time
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by milo stills | [ Reply to This ]
      Neat wording. I blame the picture preceding it tho! Darn, I could've imagined the scenery myself! Naturally, I went on reading the piece in Black and white, as the picture was. Very neat effect eh? The only thing I would do to improve it is add the question marks! Otherwise it's very personalized and I wouldn't change a thing even if I was part of the splashing group.
    | Posted on 2004-08-25 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]
      holy hydrogenic flame, batman! another brilliant turn of phrase another razor song...how do you do it so well and so young, i'd like to know. every word is evocative...outstanding. i am ever so glad you came back and scraped away those cobwebs from this page. i was beginning to despair.
    | Posted on 2004-08-26 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]

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