Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Circle of Figmentsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 678
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 522



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Circle of Figmentsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A circle of figments,
    bits of imagination,
    swirls about my head.
    I catch pieces of dreams,
    pictures I never dared to paint,
    books I was too lazy to write
    and imagined conversations
    with people that I could have loved
    had I known them.
    It's as if my thoughts are a film
    hacked apart
    and spliced back together,
    a joyous, beautiful, surreal edit
    having little affinity to the original ideas
    but far more splendor.




    Submitted on 2004-08-26 04:01:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      mhm. i think i understand what your trying to say. and its very good. i can relate a bit. my minds a bit screwey too. nice description with the hacked up film. good work
    | Posted on 2004-08-26 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]
      are you scared to be motivated? ive found that recording a particular time or a particular emotion helps trmendously, in later times you can always look back and be like, "holy [censored]! I remember that!" i am a complete absent minded person so i do know what you're talking about.
    | Posted on 2004-08-26 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      spinning thoughts about what could be and inventing stories about your life taken another direction at some point. I like the reference to film and the 'joyous, beautiful, surreal edit' very much. great poem.
    | Posted on 2004-08-26 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really well done piece. I see only a couple things at the end there that strike me a little off. These last two lines here:

    "With no affintity to the original ideas
    But with far more beauty"

    Are you trying to spell "Affinity" there? And if so woulnd't it be better to say "With no affinity for..." instead of "to"

    Also the last line you use "with" again. Sometimes it can be pretty complimentary but not so much here. It produces a small repetitous effect. Seems to me like you could just remove the second "with" and it would sound great.
    | Posted on 2004-08-26 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    22073

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry