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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Of Clouds And Mistdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ACircuitShock
    ASL Info:    18/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 221/243/40
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1312



    Description:
        Well, I can never think of what to say on these descriptions. Its hard to describe poetry. The meaning I put behind this may not be the meaning you get out of it, so why bother to describe it? The words should speak for themselves and people should make up there own minds what it's about. (uh-oh... I'm rambling!!)
    Anyway... tell me what you think of this!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOf Clouds And Mistdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A staircase
    Through this place,
    And all the tendrils in between.

    Slowly misting away
    To condense on the edges,
    The fingertips you grazed me with
    Like monoliths of this humanity.
    Or are they just weapons to stab with?

    Drift away
    Is what you always said,
    It was supposed to fade
    Into the air of this frigid night,
    So why can I still see it?

    This vapor is so enticing
    And short lived in its existence,
    An effervescent trick of the mind
    But I love to play the fool.
    So Iíll close my eyes
    And drift away
    Into this cloud you have made for me;
    The precipitation is so cooling
    As it wraps around this poor jester
    And I am swallowed whole.

    When this drifts away
    Will you stand by me?
    We will condense together,
    Into this mist that we always loved.

    When this fades away
    Will you do so as well?
    This staircase is losing its grip
    On reality and the corporeal.
    So come, letís climb it before itís gone.

    Letís jump to the sky
    And stay there in slumber,
    Never to fade, never to drift.

    Two bodies, one cloud.





    Submitted on 2004-08-27 14:13:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really think that maybe i didn't get the message you got out of it. I got that you want to go to heaven with some other person. To be honest i kind of didn't understand it, not that it is bad, but maybe my thinking is not on the same page as yourself...great job though.

    -Xantin
    | Posted on 2004-08-27 00:00:00 | by Xantin | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you mean dying, am i right? I got that when you die you just drift away into the clouds and the person you are talking about is God, i hope i am close cause that would be embarassing...lol.

    -Xantin
    | Posted on 2004-08-27 00:00:00 | by Xantin | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful imagery... wonderful choice of words and great way to put together your lines into stanzas and everything! it seems like you've got a lot of abstract ideas put together here... well done.
    -dandan (ya bum!)
    | Posted on 2004-08-29 00:00:00 | by Dandan | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    22241

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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