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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rural Carolinean Vibedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: particularshard
    ASL Info:    23/m/DC
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 1159/1392/363
    Words: 301
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1191
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1901



    Description:
       NC was fun - but I wouldn't wanna live there (far too hot)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRural Carolinean Vibedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel cold yet
    The very wind seems heated.
    I'm out of place round here where weather never gets defeated.
    With my stiff neck
    I let my pride ride like sick bet,
    The odds not in my favor but I'm not clipped yet.
    Still its obvious I'm out of place,
    Interloping by age, creed, background, and race.
    Just the same I struggle to feel their hate,
    Beneath Southern Hospitality like muslin lace.
    But its plain in the eyes of the people I meet,
    Of the old white male variety at least
    Juxtaposed with the prose so sweet
    To the tourists who gawk at them like circus freaks.
    Still,
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me
    So they grin and bear/bare it,
    Escheuw the stick for the carrot,
    Lips spit script like a parrot
    But the true thoughts they never share it,
    Because that's not what we payed for
    Stood in line to wait for
    We came to get the quick taste,
    We don't really want the flavor.
    But a quick stop at a nondescript convenience store,
    Suggests so much more -
    Than centuries-old houses and battle reenactments,
    Like how the flag of a dead country still garners such attachment,
    And how beer seems to be everywhere while hard liquor's absent,
    Or how a few hundred miles gave rise to such a thick accent.
    Its just so hard to conversate
    About the different ways we cogitate
    Although I've been none to talk from late until its late again.
    Since we think so differently,
    I don't know where to begin.
    But do you really feel black snakes in white daises to be a sin?
    If so, is their exception made for me, a black man with white skin?
    After all I'm not trying to end up Strange Fruit,
    Swinging from a limb...




    Submitted on 2004-08-28 18:56:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow..I really love this style of writing and I don't get to see it that often. It impacts like a fist, and has a thick flow, as apocrypha said. This piece has no fluff, no fat- nothing excess or unwanted. Everything it says has substance and has purpose which is what many contemporary poets need. This is great; reminds me of something I'd hear on def poetry jam (hope that doesn't offend).
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by Aimee | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha, great text you've got there mate. Sharp irony, very thick flow, and that hip hop rapping feel to it. The only thing it can improved in is the form I think...the text needs to 'breathe' a little imho. This really is great otherwise. I'm putting it up in my faves list. Cheers.
    | Posted on 2004-08-29 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]


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