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    dots Submission Name: Sadness and Feardots

    Author: demonickitten87
    ASL Info:    22/f/wa
    Elite Ratio:    2.98 - 177/217/55
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1178
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 685

       I just wrote this. I took some of this from another poem I tried to write but it didn't work with the other poem. So tell me what you think.
    This poem is mainly about how people have their way of coping. Like cutting, drugs, eating not eating, smoking but it never lasts. Its only temporary. Took me a while to realize that. Now I am finding better, temporary ways of coping. Enjoy!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSadness and Feardots

    The whispers loudly echo,
    From the darkest corners.
    As I lie here alone,
    With eyes full of tears.
    I am constantly consumed,
    With sadness and fear.
    Sick of being continuously,
    Surrounded by bitter chaos.
    With each day getting worse,
    I look for an escape,
    I grab a shiny metal object,
    Then blood begins to pour.
    The feeling of relief takes over,
    But not for long,
    I start looking for another escape.
    I find a nicely packed bowl,
    And smoke my way to freedom.
    I suddenly come down,
    From an ultimate high.
    Again I am consumed,
    With sadness and fear.

    Submitted on 2004-08-28 22:10:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Did you revise this? I think I remember it and this seems smoother. I think the best thing you could do in this poem would be to show us not tell us. It's a weak point of mine....but if you can it can bring poetry alive. If we watch the poem unfold it captivates us..if you tell us it sounds like another teen diary entry. I know poetry is personal...the hardest thing can be hearing things like this...but consider it....take or toss & good luck in your writing. :)
    | Posted on 2004-08-29 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      i defanitly understand this. i mean i am trying really really hard to quit cutting and i smoke. im going to add this to my favorites if you dont mind. keep up the killer writing. l8r.

    -asher demon-
    | Posted on 2004-08-29 00:00:00 | by black roses | [ Reply to This ]
      i know how you feel. i never cut myself, but i know people who have and i understand why. actually, basically everyone i know has ways like this to "cope", but it doesn't help only makes things worse. you chose a good concept for the poem and i like it because it's so true. i'm adding it to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Delirium | [ Reply to This ]

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