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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Descentiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: besodemuerte
    ASL Info:    31/f/pa
    Elite Ratio:    5.83 - 242/253/27
    Words: 246
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1753
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1487



    Description:
       this is an older piece i did. it's about that certain point in life that you must cease to believe in things such as santa clause. you know...growing up.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDescentiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    the butterflies are feasting on my insides.
    my barbie dolls are rotting out my brain.
    the evil of the clown is on my mind
    and all you people think that i'm insane

    my teddy bear screams softly in the night
    his paws over my ears so i can't hear.
    in his eyes is my reflection filled with fright,
    yet you say that this is not what i should fear.

    the monsters, they are there, but you can't see;
    they only come when you're not in the room.
    they lock the door, but i don't have the key
    and i hope that it will all be over soon.

    that very near before i reach the end
    superman will come and save the day.
    i know you don't believe that this could happen;
    i know you don't believe a word i say.

    in my world it's scary and unreal.
    it's full of things you don't believe are true.
    in my world there are no happy endings
    and superman is really evil too.

    just when i think there's no where left to turn
    i remember what your world is all about.
    i remember that all innocence is raped,
    but your world is the only answer out.

    so i enter into what you say is real
    and i'm caught up in your halocaust of war.
    now i don't believe that i am still alive
    and i can't believe in my world anymore.




    Submitted on 2004-08-29 14:47:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hello beso-

    so many verses filled with contradictions.. or from general view of things such as butterflies etc..

    of course they are not what they seem

    hrm.. im wondering if this about distorted reality..

    the poem is very withdrawn.. (introverted)
    i guess this is written on alot.. especially by modern day "poets".. (i consider you to be a Real writter not a "poet") that is besides the point.. i just think that using a perspective.. maybe one of innocence.. i am not sure.. maybe childhood could be ignorance in this? and ignorance as ... vanity?

    im not sure.. but i do get the general feeling of the poem..

    like i said.. w/e you are writting about in this.. it is vague but oh so distinct..

    heh.. like a childhood memory..

    xo, jon
    | Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by DreamSyndicate | [ Reply to This ]
      Very deep and meaningful. I picked this to read only because it had the least comments, and I can't figure out why, I consider it very good, in a dark way talking about giving in to the pressures of society as one HAS to grow up. The only crit I could find was the last verse, to me it's out of character for the rest of the piece, but the whole thing is still excellent.
    Great job,
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i dont really know what to say. this was a very intoresting topic. i think the last stanza pulls this whole thing together. it helped you understand it a little better. good work lia
    | Posted on 2004-08-29 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]


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    22407

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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