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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drive To Where?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: the apocrypha
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 185/192/48
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 959
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 651



    Description:
       Have you ever felt like going, not in any particular direction, for no particular reason, just for the sake of moving?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrive To Where?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Passing by empty warehouses
    On one side, dancing lightning
    On the other – mice cower
    So tiny under the stroboscopic blossom
    Of the skies

    And this is beauty to some
    Pale or desolate, it says so much more
    Than a pair of eyes
    The darkness riding all along with us or
    Thickening under the skies

    Sliding against us on our way
    It almost speaks, it almost says
    That even though we’ve been everywhere
    We might not be going anywhere

    Crawling aimlessly, flying by
    Swarming like flies around light...

    We drive.




    Submitted on 2004-08-30 06:49:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yet again, I'm fooled by not reading the description first. I read the poem and thought "wow, well written but, like Seinfeld, it's about nothing... if only you got to the 'where' part". Then I read the description. Excellently written. I understood what you were driving it, even if I didn't know that I did. :)

    The only thing I didn't like was the reference to our wandering nomadlike as "swarming". Just seemed counterintuitive. Just me.
    | Posted on 2005-01-25 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
      it feels like going nowhere. not sure why, it felt that way when l read your poem... it is very interesting, cause the read seems as tho' it could go, in many directions.
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]
      punch the kid in the ribs I said, He is a bsatard.. The headmaster is watching.. It made me laugh, because i'm weird I liked it, it could use a little work, but it's nothing to big.
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Das_Ein_Sinender | [ Reply to This ]


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