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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Give Me Your Alldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ang
    ASL Info:    18/f/NY
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 180/230/41
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1086
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 706



    Description:
       I have no clue...lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGive Me Your Alldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm jaded now whatever that means
    by sharing these things
    I rip my heart out
    it's worth my time
    whatever that means...
    hard to see up
    my neck feels stiff until I wake up
    the orange i choked
    and back to my neck
    it's worth my time
    whatever that means....so

    share with me
    cause i need it right now
    let me see your insides
    or write me off
    cause I'd rather starve now
    if you won't open up

    give it to me
    give me all... whatever you want
    it's never been me
    to want this much from you
    I can see
    it tears me up




    Submitted on 2004-08-30 10:05:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am sorry, but your own words describe my reaction to the poem best; "whatever that means..." I couldn't really find a handle to get a grip on what you meant by this. And yes, I read it again, no luck.
    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm confused about what your poem means.
    I am reading it and I think I'm getting the wrong message or maybe I am just reading too far into it and the message is just on the surface and I am missing it by tooking for somthing that just is not there. any ways Your poem confuses me very much.
    | Posted on 2004-09-05 00:00:00 | by slybee22 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh ANGIE! I lovd this just as much as the others...hmmmmm...I wonder who this might be about??? *cough*Ed*cough*cough* or maybe MY ex???? lol Lovely write as usual and I love how you keep echoing the "whatever that means" line...it just seems so honest that way.
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by Cydsecret | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a great write, and i really enjoyed reading it...i can really feel the emotion, the longing behind it...this work has a good flow to it and a great word usage...i think that if you added a stanza or two to it that it would make a great song...i can really relate to this, trying to get someone to open up and they won't and pushing them only make sit worse...great job
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]
      really don't know what to say to that ,I like it it is so good but I just don't know what to say to it. I'll read it again. ok

    this is no good I might be seeing to much in it so I won't say more than this is good.
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by slybee22 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's hard to breathe when you've just poured your heart out to someone and they close up even further, isn't it? I hate that feeling. It's like swallowing an orange. Whole. I think I understand where you're coming from, and I agree with your point of view if we're on the same page. Good write, easy read. Thanks for opening up. -Archadya
    | Posted on 2004-09-01 00:00:00 | by Darc Archadya | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm...didnt quite catch what this one meant...but ill get it. u seem to be very longing lately...dont let it get to you ang...it will make things worse.be happy hehe
    BreN
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      Different the way you have set up your poems body. My eyes are blinking like crazy... Got me longing for something, that is for sure. Something seems to pulsate deep within.
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love this...it reminds me of something or someone. You really create a character with this poem- someone speaking these words to me, and I can feel their entire presence and persona behind them. I love it when you get a lot from a poem
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Aimee | [ Reply to This ]
      i must say that i really like this peice of yours.It makes me think of my ex and me.. i would open up and he wouldnt care or nething.. i really really like it.. keep up the good work.. u brought back memories for me :D
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by natasha | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it a lot. It was very good (whatever that means) lol. I'm just playin witcha. I really liked it. Hope you work on more.
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by BenevolantWords | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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