Woah, I was loving this through and through, I think it would make a great song with a few added touched but I think its great nonetheless. There's nothing really I can change but I'd certainly add some more to it if I had written this piece.
I also agree with JimweiZERO, I think this would make an excellent song. I thought this was about a girl/woman who hides the passionate, loving side of her from the world. Always hiding from the world when in the end the world is on her side but hidden. If that makes any sense at all! :) I liked this. Good job! -blt