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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lay down and diedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: besodemuerte
    ASL Info:    31/f/pa
    Elite Ratio:    5.83 - 242/253/27
    Words: 367
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 2184
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2068



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslay down and diedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Woke up this morning, the sun in my eyes
    Took a ten minute shower and put on my disguise
    I walk down the stairs and I lock the door
    Some siding falls down to remind me Iím poor
    Not impressed and depressed I look up to the sky
    Just one more reason to lay down and die

    so i'm riding to work and the rain starts to fall
    as i step off the bus and i'm late- damn it all
    i walk into the store, take a deep breath and sigh
    one of these days i'll just lay down and die

    I got nothing-not a dime to my name
    I got nothing-but a whole lot of shame
    I got nothing-a little bit of dirt
    I got nothing-cept a whole lotta hurt

    the hours go by, my mind starts to wander
    have we ruined our lives? i stop and i ponder
    i say it's not so, but why should i lie
    i'll just face the facts and lay down and die

    I come home from work ain't no food on the table
    Ain't no honey Iím home ain't no stove ain't no cable
    just a head full of dreams and this roomful of lies
    looks like its 'bout time to just lay down and die

    I got nothing-not a dime to my name
    I got nothing-just a whole lotta shame
    I got nothing-a little bit of dirt
    I got nothing-cept awhole lotta hurt

    I got a husband that hates me and a pocket full of trash
    I gotta pay rent but I donít have the cash
    we sit down to talk, he yells and i cry
    all i wanna do is just lay down and die

    I got nothing-not a dime to my name
    I got nothing-but a whole lot of shame
    I got nothing-a little bit of dirt
    I got nothing-cept a whole lotta hurt

    So now its time to go to bed
    And Iím sleeping on the floor
    This endless aggression
    I canít take it anymore
    This shit has to stop
    Why canít you just try
    or it's time to give up
    come lay down and die




    Submitted on 2004-08-30 20:58:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this reads like hopelessness... lethargy and a large weight on you so that you just want to "lay down and die." it's heavy. the sing-songiness (is that a word?) keeps you just barely alive. it could be a country song... thanks for being honest about where you've been. i am thinking you have much more hope these days.. :)
    | Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      If its any concession I think that trees are the only living entities that grow and fall down dead from the same patch of ground that they sprouted from. If there's one thing we don't have to make a special arrangement for it is our death because it is carried out automatically :). But then I guess we forget this when we think life sux. I remember one quote "Happiness, like water, is always available, but is often the case we prefer to drink something else." :)
    All this aside I think the best line was
    just a head full of dreams and this roomful of lies
    Anyway, I guess you're moving on to higher ground now, by the sounds of your description you seem to have put it all in the past tense.
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by kanu | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought, lets read a Beso poem, and this is very blue with a great flow. It reminded me a bit of Bob Dylan. So much for my first impression.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by Lostinbeer | [ Reply to This ]
      i really, really like this song. it definitely sounds like you were in rough times, but at least you made it through and were able to write about it. i hope things are better for you now. it is a great song though and it flows wonderfully. as the other commentor said, i wouldn't change a thing.
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Delirium | [ Reply to This ]
      Now this is a Dwight Yokum song, or else a Tammy Wynett/George Jones duet or a Buck Owens song if I ever heard one. You gotta go to Nashville or The grand-ol-oprey guys with this its got to be a hit waiting to be sung.
    A great work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well written, and well stated. I can definitely relate to the lyrics, and I think that is what makes a good song. If I could sing, I'd want to sing it! :) My only suggestion would be to remove maybe one of the chorus blocks. But that's just me. I think songs can get a little too repetitive sometimes. Overall, well done!
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... what a song... im completely lost for words as to what to say coz really... i have nothing that could change anything. one line that really struck me was
    'just a head full of dreams and this roomful of lies'
    and it saddened me that we can somehow become content with the lies... learn to live with them though i get the feeling that you got out and im hoping you have started to work towards your dreams... and even though it musta been hard to stay alive im thinking one day. when you reach your dreams and they come true that you'll be glad you didnt lie down and die... but yeah... this is a very wow write and i feel like i completely just patronised you... i really didnt mean to... i hope you dont think i did... take care
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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