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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soundtrack to a Fading Facedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Butterfly Bullets
    ASL Info:    24/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 188/257/24
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 1365
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1319



    Description:
       I submitted this once but I pulled it to do some work on it. I hope it turned out well. Its about the ones that love us and leave us after saying we meant the world to them. But now we're nothing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoundtrack to a Fading Facedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thirteen pills and oxygen in my veins
    Makes the silence seem like such a beautiful thing

    Iíd have to say I like to die sometimes
    And right now is so perfect
    To know Iíll let go inside your arms
    Makes everything so worth it

    Hold me close
    Sing a few notes
    From the song you learned over the weekend
    I know you never loved me
    But we can always pretend

    Was it something I did, wasnít I there for you
    I gave up everything just like you wanted me to

    Did you have, to stab, me in the back
    Why couldnít you shoot me in the face
    At least I couldíve seen it coming
    Without being replaced

    Hold me close
    Sing a few notes
    From the song you learned over the weekend
    The one about the boy who loved the girl
    With the big brown eyes

    Hold me close
    Sing a few notes
    I know you never ever loved me
    But itís over now, you let me down
    Farther than you know

    Cuz you hate me, I disgust you
    I make you think otherwise
    I was mistaken, and replaced with
    All the other guys

    Hold me close
    Sing a few notes

    I know you never ever loved me




    Submitted on 2004-08-31 01:30:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There could be nothing worse than being made obsolete. So slowly and so deliberately, but it hurts even more... It hurts so much more when you have to find out from someone else. "I know you never loved me,But we can always pretend..." oh my god, I cannot begin to convey to you how deeply this touches the very core of my empty soul... The despair matches mine and we sing in harmony... They say "there is hope..." and sometimes I wonder... Virgil
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by Lip_Gloss_and_Black | [ Reply to This ]
      Again you have pulled me in with your words, your flow, your emotions! I felt every word, line, each heartbreak. I cannot tell you enough how much your words just take me over. I was seduced by every part of this piece.

    "Thirteen pills and oxygen in my veins
    Makes the silence seem like such a beautiful thing"

    Those were the key lines my friend that simply pulled me in. You have such undeniable talent!
    *Amanda*
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by fortressofwords | [ Reply to This ]
      so much to catch up on with your writing...
    i love the title here.. beautiful. i think you have a knack for coming up with really great titles.

    your lyrics are just as powerful as your poetry. the 2 opening lines are great...you pull the reader right in and we're instantly curious..

    the pain in this is palpable.. there is so much hurt and a sense of betrayal that is unavoidable. and these kind of lyrics can very quickly degenerate into whiny 'woe-is-me' complaints but you manage to steer clear of all of that.. and keep it original at the same time.

    the only thing that felt out of place was the 'so' in 'Makes everything so worth it'.. it was too 'surfer-dude' language in comparison to everything else. but that's just my opinion.

    off to read the rest of your work
    | Posted on 2004-09-20 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      This would make a great song.

    I really like the references to music, and having the title be the "soundtrack"... genius.

    Don't know so much about the first two lines, suicide sucks.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this peice a lot. it's a very good broken heart/you never cared song. and I can really relate to it... keep it up, all of your work is fantastic...
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sort of like the ultimate in your face song. I like how this has a sarcastic feel to it. I loved the fifth stanza. I like that you bring irony and humor to something painful like being stabbed in the back. Excellent job.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey fellow James, these were great lyrics yet again. Thanks for saying what you did about Nothing's Left, I guess you put your type of music in the background then. Me, I mostly listen to rock/metal though I do like emo and other stuff, I just don't listen to it as much. One thing about you this that you always come up with a title to make people actually want to read it and it still bears relevance to the actual piece of writing. How? Keep this going, tis good.
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      yet agian i love this one. i love the part"I know u never loved me" its good. really good. its sad but hey im ad . lol. so its all good. i love it. good job like i said im gonna keep reading ur work. b/c its gets to me and i love it
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by natasha | [ Reply to This ]
      Like Austin said great rythym. I'm a painist my self and can almost hear is play slowly. That's just my thought. I especially liked the 5th stanza, it's brilliantly written. All too often I've found myself in a situation like this. Have you heard any of Annie Lennox's new album Bare? There's a song on there called "Wonderful," your poem/lyrics remind me of that song. Kick ass.
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]
      butterfly bullets boy... i very love your groove... this is so sad (as is most of the things of yours i have read). the first four lines blew me away... they really did but mostly i liked the part you always came back to
    'Hold me close
    Sing a few notes
    From the song you learned over the weekend'
    with your different variations on the end though i must say the one about the boy who loved a girl was my fave...
    but yeah... i think most could identify with song and somehow they would know the words to sing along like a toast to all those who said they were their everything but are now nowhere to be seen...
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      this is sad bro. really, really sad. sounds like a girl i know, thankfully not my girlfriend. but past ones. as i read, as a guitarist, i could see that as a song. it had good rythym. i liked it, and i know others will as well. -austin-
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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