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    dots Submission Name: Soul Batteriesdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 839
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 230

       I wrote this while listening to the Sigur Ros song "Ny Batteri" (Icelandic for "New Batteries").

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoul Batteriesdots

    If only souls ran off of batteries
    and I could pop in a couple of new ones
    that'd make me shine like a lighthouse
    instead of a sad, dim booklight
    bringing on my spring-like rebirth.

    Submitted on 2004-08-31 11:57:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Another one of your dark-ironic, acid pieces in the fashion we all know and love. As usual, I enjoyed the imagery very much as well as the 'stretched' emotions.
    The last line somehow doesn't fit the rest though...might be the 'and' that bothers me alittle but that's all really.
    | Posted on 2004-09-01 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
      boy, the image of a sad dim booklight is great. really great. booklights are so dim, so melancholy, and sometimes they flicker (but such a dim, subtle flicker that moves between drab and "drabier").

    good one!
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the tone of this. How you want to shine like a lighthouse, not like a lightbulb or some other bright object. The end tied it together with being born again like springtime. Great job.
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      very original, a great thought but unfortunately it doesn't work. if it would I would change my batteries immediately.
    I like the last line but I would change the "and" to "I'd". cause with "and" your sentence feels somehow incomplete, at least for me. anyway a really good poem.
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this idea its awesome and quite orignal...the last line could of been left off...i just find it to come off cheesy and ruins the write but thats just my opinion sooo...but as usual you've said so much with few words...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece was very deep and i really liked this. i think that this one definatly did not need anything else said it said everything. good job lia
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      I sure do wish souls were like batteries, because I would of popped in some new ones long time ago. I like this piece...short, sweet, and to the point.
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by Nakia | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this sounds like a...hmmm, very interesting. l haven't read one of yours in awhile.. lt was some what funny too. Thanks for sharing your poem.
    | Posted on 2004-08-31 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]

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