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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Serenedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: solitary_cross
    ASL Info:    19/female/Philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.4 - 92/107/24
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 819
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 767



    Description:
       This is about my inner anger about the criticisms and stereotypes people has placed on me... My mind can't take anymore their words that I have to let it out through this poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSerenedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Standing in the middle of the crowd
    Blurred figures surrounded me
    Despite their distorted faces
    They all make sense to me

    Whispers of deceit and rudeness
    Coming from their immature mouths
    Were a deafening sound to my ears
    Making my body numb

    My vision began to darken
    My fists both clenched in fury
    My blood started to boil
    And a hot wind swept over my forehead

    I tried to get hold of my emotions
    As not to lose my usual self
    But this hunting sensation
    Began to flood my system

    After all my efforts of restraint
    I unleashed a soft sigh
    Slowly I raised my head
    Revealing to them a mordant smile




    Submitted on 2004-09-01 09:24:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this write, its so true of many people in that situation at schools etc.

    I tried to get hold of my emotions
    As not to lose my usual self
    But this hunting sensation
    Began to flood my system

    I think this part is both great imagery and the best part of the poem, it really got me into the piece and made me want to read it again, excellent work!
    | Posted on 2004-09-01 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this sounds alot like the people in my school. this is really cool..a little hard to catch the meaning but still catchable. good work. keep writing.
    | Posted on 2004-09-01 00:00:00 | by sweet-fire | [ Reply to This ]
      It's wonderful that you can use your writing to let out the emotion. This was very good and the intensity built until the sigh and we all released the tension with you. Hang in there life gets better after highschool.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-09-01 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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