Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the Weird Sistersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: leper messiah
    ASL Info:    21~f~New England
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 197/249/38
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 797
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 968



    Description:
       this one is not finished...but i wanted to post it anyway because i've been away for so long. so keep that in mind please, before you shred the shit outta it...okay? other than that, any comments or suggestions appreciated...had writer's block for soooo long now, i'm amazed i can still do this stuff...and not be so ashamed!~
    april


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe Weird Sistersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Made an alliance with the
    Weird sisters the other day...
    and i couldna been gladder
    By the uprooting sinister
    ways they had of reaching in

    Hands that sunk into my
    paleoarctic muck
    like slimy neo-fever,
    they complimented each other
    then emerging from my
    slushy inside full of puddle-
    dives and nothing that wasn't
    cold
    held up (by their boney ankles)
    the crows that had pecked
    away at my inter/super/ior...

    And i could feel heat flood
    the holes they had made and
    where they had been
    purple and vitriolic seas
    that antiseptic'd those cages
    were the voices of the Sisters
    hugging their one-time-deal,
    the eyeball, and me in a ribbon-
    typewriter-tape kind of grasp
    i guess i was pretty motionless
    as the surgery seemed to go
    from all bones to no bones




    Submitted on 2004-09-02 12:05:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I dunno, I'm scratchin here. Weird Sisters. Weird is an abstract description that could mean so many things. Are these sisters symbolic of something? So what I get is you were cold inside, they reached in, punched some holes that let the warmth in, some kind of operation, and it's not finished yet. Before you tell me any kind of clue or change anything, could a different title shed some light on the meaning? The title is the one chance you get to tell whatever you wish without having to follow any poetic rules. But I'm babbeling now, hope this poem gets you past the block!
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      i have to agree its gross but yes in a good sort. well another peek into your curious writing. i kinda like your writings, it makes me forget everything, even tho it is so gross. lol.

    well this is like an account less than poetry, but very interesting, i suppose you should end it real soon because then it'll be a little boring.

    Zu
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
      Wooaahh… Gross… But in a good way. The writer's block doesn't show here, really. It probably could be improved, but I think this is brilliant already… Twisted and very cool! Becky
    | Posted on 2004-09-02 00:00:00 | by SugarMouse | [ Reply to This ]
      They sound like opposites. l am not too sure, but the feel of the over-all of your poem, feels newtral. The writing is very interesting.
    | Posted on 2004-09-02 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    22886

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry