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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Escaping Wardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PolaroidMemory
    ASL Info:    18/F/IN
    Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 99/93/28
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 411
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 753



    Description:
       This didn't take me very long to write so it might not be too good. Bash it if you wish...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEscaping Wardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Shadows cast upon snow covered land
    Voices whispering of moonlit nights
    Abandoned buildings telling their own stories
    Snow falls and the night is quiet
    Children sleep and dream of better days
    Not much to wish for in a place so grey
    Hurry now, don't linger too long.
    There's nothing to see, nothing to do
    Barren walls falling down
    No one speaks of the horror and the pain
    Seeking shelter and finding none
    Not the best feeling in the world
    Not the best place for children to be
    Sun comes out but the land is still dark
    Mothers hurry to find food for their families
    Nothing seems to be the right thing to do
    Everything seems so wrong.




    Submitted on 2004-09-02 18:58:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i dissagree with childoutspoken, i think the ending works rather well.

    Voices whispering of moonlit nights
    Abandoned buildings telling their own stories

    these two lines are the whole poem for me, i love these two lines. great job
    | Posted on 2004-09-02 00:00:00 | by GhiHaD | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok... its good up until you get to the ending and it sort of dies... It describes well the effects of war on family and such... but I dunno... the end just sorta... meh Don't take my word for it ^.^ If you like it... keep it...
    Otherwise its really good... lots of detail that gives the reader visual images
    nice
    -Alli
    | Posted on 2004-09-02 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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