untitled by Kasuni

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Submission Name: untitled dots

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Author:	Kasuni
Elite Ratio:	0.48 - 0/3/2
Words:	62

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	222
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	337

Description:
I wrote this as I cried with the frustration of being alone. Not physically alone... Emotionally alone, with no one to confide in. With no one to be there. I was stuck in some sort of whirlwind of everyone with friends and then there was me... And I just couldn't get out.

untitled dots

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Stolen laughter, loss of dreams. No one can hear unspoken screams. I'm part of a circle that never ends. There is no way to escape the pain. I'm bound by these invisible shackles to this place in which I reside. I have no place to go. there is nowhere to hide. Stolen laughter, loss of dreams. No one can hear unspoken screams.

Submitted on 2004-09-02 19:12:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  I'd agree with GhiHaD, in my mind i hear metallica playing a tune to this piece. There's anger, pain and confusion in this piece but it's well-met to me. I understand every notion o fthis story you tell. To some, they don't relate to such expressions to such pieces. The layout is fine, but i would just suggest the usual layout for poetry. You have done well in satisfying my read. Remember not to sway reading bad comments. Just write which ever way u are comfortable with *winks*

~mawwy~
| Posted on 2004-09-02 00:00:00 | by mawwy | [ Reply to This ]
  not bad i think you could really boost this one up a bit by delving deeper into your emotions. this sounds like it could be lyrics, maybe you should try and transform this into a song good job nonetheless
| Posted on 2004-09-02 00:00:00 | by GhiHaD | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm... what have i got to say, lets begin shall we with... layout. The layout isn't working for me, its just not. Overall your write was good, I often feel like that with people, way to express that.
| Posted on 2004-09-02 00:00:00 | by Teh Green Fish | [ Reply to This ]

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