Death Masked by a Flower by rocknpoetrychik

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Submission Name: Death Masked by a Flower dots

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Author:	rocknpoetrychik
ASL Info:	20/Female/Someplace
Elite Ratio:	4.06 - 331/281/44
Words:	59

Class/Type:	Poetry/Angry
Total Views:	436
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	416

Description:
It is about my grandma getting married after my grandpa died. Nobody liked the man she married because he is a chauvanistic asshole who wants her for the little money she has and to have a house maid for him and his 16year old twin boys.Sorry did a little venting there.:)

Death Masked by a Flower dots

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Pungent Sorrow,
Carnations line the aisle of wedded bliss,
For the stench I could not bear,
Daggers penetrating my flesh,
Evil has a name.
You will make me call him....
What?
I dare not say,
Two by two,
One by One,
Carnations die and then there were none,
Decay of soul,
I can smell,
Wedded bliss?
Wedded hell.

Submitted on 2004-09-03 03:06:49 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I know its allways hard to stand back and watch thoese whom we love make bad dissions.
But it is what it is. We all make our dissions.
about our own life. but hay? Only soo much can b done. After that that we walk away..........
Joshua
| Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by ooononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
  People seem to get married for all the wrong reasons and very few of the right ones...This work reminds me of this and how people tend to "rush" into things...marriage and even having a child...because they are truly lacking within...still searching...so in desperation...they tend to make the wrong choices changing thier lives forever in a negative way.
Excellent wording, ending perfect.
~Alan
| Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a well written piece...you got your point across quite well. The only bad thing I did notice is the rhyming, I don't know what you were going for, but it doesn't seem to flow, or it could just be me...
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]
  this was really cool. having had a stepmother and a stepfather, I can sort of relate to how you feel. it's a shame your gram had to think she had to get married again, but who knows what controls some people's decisions? I have no idea why my mom married a second time only to end in divorce or why my dad married a b-tch and then married her a second time after she ran off once. some people just don't think! me, if I ever get divorced, I sure as hell ain't doin' it again! really great poem you have here!
| Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good write. I love how you used words like "penetrated" and "wedded." Gives it a little more drama and makes it easier to relate. Great write.
| Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by SorrowfulMind | [ Reply to This ]
  Nani? I can tell there is a deep meaning to that but I can't exaclty tell what it is. I think its well writen and sound really great. My freind says its gothic ^_^
| Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by Rail | [ Reply to This ]
  cool. i think that it is great to be able to see things in a difrent way than most because life gets so [censored] boring when its always the same [censored] thing. yeah i felt the same way after my mom devoriced and got her new boyfriend. so i took his face and let my foot introduce itself. i got grounded for like a year for that. anyway sorry for babbleing, i think it was a very interesting and cool poem.
| Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by Di Re Rakord | [ Reply to This ]
  A bad marriage waiting to happen. That's never good. Plus marrying someone for any reason other than love should be a crime. This was wonderfully written. You really portrayed the images and your thoughts well on paper.

X
| Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh my dear sis you have done an excellent job describing the everyone feels about Grandmas marriage to that peice of crap pig named Paul! I can't even tell you how glad I am you wrote this! VERY VERY EXCELLENT JOB!
*Amanda*
| Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by fortressofwords | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to say that I like the entire thing except for the first part. . . the rhyming's forced and I can't really think of anything to fix it with. Maybe just delete it? And then on line eleven I would break it into two lines. . . start the new one after "then". Good write.
-Secret
| Posted on 2004-09-26 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this, I think it's great. Wonderfully written. I like seeing things from a different point of view, like how a wedding's supposed to be a joyous thing, and is actually (at least in this instance) not. Sorry bout your grandma. Diffucult situation, she could be lonely, but still, she's your grandma, and you don't want to see that.
| Posted on 2004-09-14 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]
  This is the style of poetry that I wish to attain in my poetry. But I think you explained it well enough before the poem to understand what you mean. Nice poem keep it up, you can be a great english teacher.
| Posted on 2004-09-08 00:00:00 | by sjayant | [ Reply to This ]
  this one didn't make me laugh, but i still liked it, i don't know the other stuff i read of your's was really cute, but this is way more seriuse but i liked it. i can't wait to read the next one

Milo Stills
| Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by milo stills | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed this a lot! The first words are powerful and then each line has a compelling sort of pace to it that matches the imaginative and in your face sort of lines...nice imagery too (~_^) ...I loved how you threw in some rhyme too...it strengthened the piece and is a good example to some of the other poets who have posted poems above this one. Strong strong theme and close to this piece...glad I found your poem. :

| Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  Ooooooo. . .Me likes. . .Beautiful imagary and flow. . .I really really like it. That is just such an awsome poem. My compliments. *Runns up and bows in the precence of a great poet*
| Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ]
  always admired pieces which has a lil darkness in them. I think you could grow into a good writer. Passion to write anything that comes to mind is priceless. your poem is well-met.

~mawwy~
| Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by mawwy | [ Reply to This ]

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