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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: this is hope?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wilderness
    ASL Info:    23/M/Surrey, UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 252/359/86
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 404
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941



    Description:
       a song i wrote this morning.. if you like you can hear it here:

    http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6961803



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthis is hope?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    oh, baby you touch me
    you know that you do
    give me a reason to breathe in
    to breath out

    and repeat this to fade, it’s really ok
    i’ll just find my place in
    the corporate line

    i'll save up my money
    i’ll buy us the moon
    we can live in that desert cold and be true


    i’ll go record me a record
    of hope lost and found
    i’ll sugar coat
    every word so
    the fucker will sell

    but that ain’t soul
    no that ain’t hope

    its just a dream we have of a better way
    nothing we can do but run
    (something you whispered
    too keep it a secret)


    lets just open the flood gates
    and drown in our love
    cause I really don’t
    want to be here
    and feel this cold

    cause this ain’t soul
    no this ain’t hope




    Submitted on 2004-09-03 13:29:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Bracken.. everytime i read your poems it's like i'm so close to finding the right way to describe the atmosphere that you create with your words but it's so hard to explain. i dont think anything i say would really do it justice.
    you create this circle around the reader.. we are completely immersed in your words.. there is a sense of warmth in the love that you have to give.. but there are cracks in the walls or doors left ajar.

    there is so much emotion in your writing. loved the lines
    'something you whispered
    to keep it a secret'
    and putting them in brackets was perfect.. like the visual version of whispering.
    | Posted on 2004-09-08 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      man, i listened to the tune. it's driving me crazy - you sound so much like somebody... damn! this is going to drive me nuts!

    easy to sell out, but you get your just desserts (or shall I say deserts)
    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
      damn dude..the song kicks ass too. the guitar part is REALLY good...and you put your heart into the singing. way to go:D now you just need to pick a band name and go for it;)
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the lyrics here, they're really really beautiful and I don't know, a surreal dreamlike feel to me..I'm gonna listen to the song now...I guess I shoulda done that first...I always do things back asswards...and go deftones!
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      well I've got to say this is good. I didn't listen toit, but with all my years in the music industry, and writing my own lyrics i can actually read just about any and hear the music. so that's how i know it's good.
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]
      ha...this is the first time i went to make a comment and im actually sitting here listening to your song...thats frikin awesome...i have no complaints...just wanted to tell ya i really like it...i like the part...

    i'll sugar coat

    every word so
    the [censored]er will sell
    but that ain't soul
    no that ain't hope

    ange
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]



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