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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Child of Autumn Tapestrydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: leper messiah
    ASL Info:    21~f~New England
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 197/249/38
    Words: 229
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Happy
    Total Views: 977
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1463



    Description:
       just wrote this one in a few minutes...its pretty self-explanatory...feeling that its now september, my favorite time of year...lots of beauty in the world. had to go with it...
    ~april


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChild of Autumn Tapestrydots
    -------------------------------------------


    My september’s of a frozen year
    i could feel it coming on back
    behind august like a freight train
    it rang bells in the towers’ heads
    calling church and school loud and clear
    the children new and bundled
    in knit cheery colored scarves, dark
    hued jeans and stains of sleeves
    covering fading tanned arms…
    the older ones, people who stalk
    the churchyard in searches lost and long
    ago, feeling the colder winds chill
    their bones; they are like fenceposts
    whitewashed in the summer rains
    now the wet paint is stripped off
    and they are just blanched and dried
    like crinkling fallen red and golden
    leaves under burgundy-booted feet…
    Laces cracked and snapping with light
    My ankles are sturdy against the harvest
    soil, packed and hard and black
    how I love this dying time
    when Persephone haunts the iron gates
    that are headstones of places’ entry ways
    how she sings a sullen hymn
    her hair is the red rusted cluster of
    the treetops, flame in the sky’s siren pool
    flame in my vision when the green cools
    feel like a witch in Salem old tyme
    crucified for my love of this, hollow
    season’s prime, like its my secret
    the spell is in the air without me
    I am velvet when I walk within it
    The child of autumn tapestry.






    Submitted on 2004-09-03 15:25:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      If it took you just a couple of minutes, then I am sure: you are brilliant. Your piece makes me feel... strange really, difficult to describe, like being happy while falling into a depression... nostalgia... while in a spell, like still taking part in an extraordinary moment full of magic. It's far more than reality. It's beyond the normal sight. You go beyond colors, all those beautiful ideas (like about Persephone), beyond the senses... somewhere deep inside.
    | Posted on 2004-09-05 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Bloody hell. Astounding for a few-minutes' work. It's so vivid. Could maybe be tweaked here & there but, um, yeah, you really do have a great talent. You should definitely try to move beyond the internet… Becky
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by SugarMouse | [ Reply to This ]
      yo that was a straight up ramble right there. im not sure it all made sense, but i got the poicute- you must be quite glad to be back in school - boo
    shard
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      All that I can say is outstanding. Throughout reading this poem, I could envision the imagery so clearly that it made this piece jump out at me. I really liked your usage of greek mythology by adding in the line about persephone.
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by Ravenwood | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is beautiful. The images portrayed are so vivid, and it makes the thought of autumn more enjoyable. Unfortunately its been raining alot , but Im hoping it will be nicer!
    -Andrya
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      You really have a way of painting in my head, I absolutley love this piece. I love how you tied in the myth of persephone to the whole thing. Autumn is a beautiful time of year though personally I love when Persephone returns to the world above! I love the style in which you wrote this. and I agree with Alan this piece really makes it seem like your so much older then you are.This blew me awya I wouldnt change one damn thing about it!-John
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      this is the 2nd poem of yours that i ahve read and they have both been up to standard, you get me so nostalgic, and im 15 for gods sake! your poems were descriptive and bring a sense of realsim that is difficult to put into words sometimes. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by outsider | [ Reply to This ]
      So descriptive. Excellent. I especially admire the well-put allusion to Persephone. I always loved that story, and in this context it fits perfectly. No criticism here! Exemplary.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-03 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]


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