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Battlefields


Author: RequiemOfDreams
ASL Info:    20/M/NJ
Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 97 /140 /38
Words: 216
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1625
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1576



Description:


Indented lines should be included in the line above- pauses are only at commas (written in a beowulfian style) and periods.


Battlefields



Glistening swords gleam throughout the night,
Shining silver slivers, beaming through the sky,
Beads of brandy fill the mugs of those lucky, and
Those men of vitality, trudging through torn
    fields and those
Women of winterborne vigor that is never
    weakened, we
Find ourselves fighting eachother, fighting for
    freedom? Or
Are we against ourselves, against what we
    want and what we
Need and there is nothing we can do about it.

Men of malice and women of the wight, listen
    closely
Since sounds of sickness string softly through
Plains of passion and devotion, strengthened
By barbaric arguing and backstabbing,
Battles waged to bring terror beyond belief.

Look at the land, listen to the lords and ladies,
We see where we're heading, with no
Path to follow, no path to pick, and
Yet we yearn to yell, to learn, to
Continue to compete, to compress our
Emotions, everlasting never lying emotions.

Tears, never controllable, tightingly terrifying,
Roll down my face, racing from orbs, which see
    nothing
But battles, battles that cannot be beaten, only
Fought, frighteningly I fear for my tears, but
They are only tears, tears tearing from my eyes,
    I
Can't control my tears, but I never cry.




Submitted on 2004-09-04 04:49:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Yeah, this one's a keeper. The first passage really sets the scene..enjoyed the word play in this piece I thought you might have overdone the tears thing but you nailed me with it in the last line...a poem that warrants a few reads...it's like a grand sweeping vista that you can't take in in one view. excellent. :
| Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  I totaly loved this piece. I am going to add it to my favorites. You did a really great job. I espeacially liked the lines;

Men of malice and women of the wight, listen
closely
Since sounds of sickness string softly through
Plains of passion and devotion, strengthened
By barbaric arguing and backstabbing,
Battles waged to bring terror beyond belief.

I love the use of vocabulary. I only hope that you like some of my work as much as I liked this piece. I look forward to more of your work. Have a great weekend.
| Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
  Man! you have class and "Danm!" you have style,
this is a total winner so keep i that way for a while.
i personally look at the meaning of the poems instead of the way they are written. which is the only reaason i write to get my thoughts feelings and ideas in a way others can relive what i live. but its not about me... this poem as story like as it may seem... it gives a feeling of exactly what the world is today...
we
~we find ourselves fighting eachother, fighting for freedom? Or Are we against ourselves, against what we want and what we Need and there is nothing we can do about it.~
Live is a constant battle, agains others And against ourselves. but no matter what we do we can not escape it. we fight for freedom but everything in life will take a hold of you and make you a slave to it. drugs, money, sex, work, love, and anything you can think of. i hope to read more of your writtings
| Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by ibelikeso | [ Reply to This ]


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