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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: crusheddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: natasha
    ASL Info:    15/f/brampton
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 113/159/52
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 615



    Description:
       my best friends boy frien told me to make a poem called crushed so this came to mine...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscrusheddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Standing here
    whatching you.
    You took my heart and crushed it in your hands.Tears fall down in the sand.
    you didnt want me you wouldnt even try.
    You love to make me suffer
    break down
    and cry
    you crawled back and say u love me
    when all you did was use me for money.
    crushed,heartborken,lonsome whatever.
    Standing here wearing your sweater.
    leave ne alone.
    get out
    dont want you around
    head in my hands
    tears in the sand .
    took my heart crushed it in your hands
    the wrost part was i love you too




    Submitted on 2004-09-04 08:45:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hey there you go again mooning all over the moon who made you this way which kind of lover put this in you just kiddin well nice passionate and flow of emotios just right but check your spellings at least they tell me that haha have a nice day Natash
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by webdevil | [ Reply to This ]
      You have a very good poem filled with emotion and pain. But the spelling hurts the overall work and should be corrected.

    I enjoyed reading this, in spite of the spelling.
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice rhyming. It's not exactly consistent, but I like that. What's up with the used you for money bit? I didn't think that happened to anyone at the ripe, young age of fifteen. Anyway. Nice poem.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      your best friends boyfriend told you to write this? Maybe he's trying to get something across to you. De he read this? Who's it about? sorry. i am nosy! Well i liked the emotion, not really any imagery, not to the naked eye. I still think its good though.
    | Posted on 2004-09-04 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]


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