Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: conversationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hidden lady
    ASL Info:    28/female/nebraska
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 116/118/30
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 954
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1487



    Description:
       this poem is supossed be read with a beat. it's about a friend and I, and a conversation we were having.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsconversationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    fingered branched of
    chesnut colored hair
    fell from the unwise
    bramble of saline eyes.
    as she sat in front of me,
    waiting for answers and hope.
    she spoke.
    her voice; raspy,
    cracked like the sahara desert
    going on forever.
    dangerous, beautiful leading
    me into some dream like
    trance of unwilling fixation.

    she moved her hands nervously
    making an attempt at
    feeling better as though
    that movement, that part of her
    body moving would
    magically set things strait.
    she smiles.
    revealing all the secrets
    of her childhood tears.

    setting her hands down
    on mine, she pulls her
    fear and strength out of
    her self as though it were
    an infected limb being amputated.
    she sets it in front of me.
    "what am I?"
    her eyes became pools
    of water, deep and blue.

    my response was quick
    trickling down the stone
    steps of time until it disapears
    into the ocean of spoken word.
    my eyes became mud.
    dark and brown
    seeping with determination
    to save this friend,
    this sister!

    the fear sitting just in
    front of me turns and fades
    like the mist of the early morning
    leaving the courage I need
    to lead,
    her back to her forgotten
    innocence.




    Submitted on 2004-09-04 15:54:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    23139

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Dream written by closetpoet
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry