This is your feature piece. The work speaks for itself and instantly pulls you into the heart. Empathy is a powerful tool, that sharing of an emotion has the power to do amazing things. I see the excessive '.....' a hindrance, just clean up the punctuation and it's perfect. I am adding this to my list- I absolutely love it.
That... was beautiful. I've always had respect for the old, and the hidden wisdom in thier tired eyes. #rd line, 7th stanza, you mispelled "waits" but hey, at least you know i was really reading it right? So anywho, i liked the format you written it in and this is probably my favorite poem that you've written. Aken Sol
Your poem is very interesting. And l can understand why it is a passion poem. On the other hand it is also very sad, because of what is..., it is difficult to comment upon this poem of yours. Yet, me myself do hope for goodness for the next generation to come. Thanks for sharing a very interesting poem.