Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Old Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: colopoao
    ASL Info:    42/ Male / Hallowell Mai
    Elite Ratio:    4.89 - 62/55/18
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1353
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1448



    Description:
       Any reactions. I try to touch people's emotions


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Old Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    This Old man sits on a park bench
    Looking at a resting willow tree...
    He watches as the leaves lazily dangle in the breeze...

    One pigeon walks alone next to a
    Dried up pond As one leaf falls....

    This Old man stands upon frail legs
    Legs that once stood for courage

    In Battle

    He walks across the pond and
    Picks up the leaf.....Watching
    it crumble in his hands

    Dust moves musically falling
    upon his shoulders

    He turns and looks on as a young
    Man walks hand in hand with
    A small boy
    He smiles

    Remembering......

    A baby cries from behind closed
    Doors as this old man
    Waits in anticipation

    This Old man reaches up and grabs
    Onto the two fingers that give
    his wobbily legs strength to
    Move.....

    Crawling....Standing....Walking

    Becoming a man. A Strength that
    Carries on the shoulders
    Of a youth that looks across this
    Dried up pond and remembers the pure
    refreshing water that once flowed through it's veins






    Chris Osgood 8/19/04




    by Christopher Osgood


    Author's Comments:
    "This goes out to our children. Our Future.




    Submitted on 2004-09-04 18:33:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is your feature piece. The work speaks for itself and instantly pulls you into the heart. Empathy is a powerful tool, that sharing of an emotion has the power to do amazing things. I see the excessive '.....' a hindrance, just clean up the punctuation and it's perfect. I am adding this to my list- I absolutely love it.


    -Dustin
    | Posted on 2013-08-02 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]
      That... was beautiful. I've always had respect for the old, and the hidden wisdom in thier tired eyes. #rd line, 7th stanza, you mispelled "waits" but hey, at least you know i was really reading it right?
    So anywho, i liked the format you written it in and this is probably my favorite poem that you've written.
    Aken Sol
    | Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by Aken Sol | [ Reply to This ]
      Your poem is very interesting. And l can understand why it is a passion poem. On the other hand it is also very sad, because of what is..., it is difficult to comment upon this poem of yours. Yet, me myself do hope for goodness for the next generation to come. Thanks for sharing a very interesting poem.
    | Posted on 2004-09-07 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    23149

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    The World written by jjd
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry