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    dots Submission Name: broken heartdots

    Author: natasha
    ASL Info:    15/f/brampton
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 113/159/52
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 402

       i wrote this about me getting a broken heart.... so ya

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbroken heartdots

    Standing here in the pouring rain where everything has changed. looking into ur eyes, tears in mine.
    all i want is you to be mine. lefted here with a broken heart ,our love fell apart.
    Reading your face, scearching for my answers to questions. But we both remain specahless.
    Your walking free. with nothing to be shown.
    Im just lefted here out in the cold.

    Submitted on 2004-09-05 16:05:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I know what you feel with your broken heart, I must pray for your broken heart and all the broken hearts all over the world and I hope you will find that man who could make your heart happy again. I like this line too much" all i want is you to be mine. lefted here with a broken heart ,our love fell apart."
    But your poem lacks something, I think it is to write the spelling of the words well and take care of. You have the word " specahless ", great mistake to write it like this way.
    You did great and I hope you can entertain us with your poems.
    Khaled Abdallah.
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]
      good title, cause it sure does feel like a broken heart. special because of the words in which you did use...interesting feels just like a piece...l don't mean that in a rude manner of speaking...
    | Posted on 2004-09-05 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]
      well that was not bad,not exceptional too but definitely not bad.there are some typos to be fixed and I think you should give the text a kind of shape even if it has a quite good flow
    keep it up!
    | Posted on 2004-09-05 00:00:00 | by lanza13 | [ Reply to This ]

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