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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Winters Calldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rainmaker
    ASL Info:    23 / M / Finland
    Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 45/50/19
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1116
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 278



    Description:
       This is not the finished version, but i lost it in my hdd crash and this version was the only one i was able to dig out..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWinters Calldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Trees drop their leaves
    The winter is coming
    Two becomes one
    Storms tears up the skies
    Waters shall freeze
    I can see you breathe
    As a cloud it spreads
    Snow under our feet
    Slowly it smelts
    Again the flowers reach out




    Submitted on 2004-09-06 09:04:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ah, lovely poem as it has been said four other times. I do agree that you should maybe work no it again, add some descriptions to make it even more intense!

    This poem painted a scene of two people walking along a road, a man and a woman. They hold hands as autumn slowly fades into winter, the cold air envelopes them and they stop at a bench to rest. As they do this she can see his breath...she smiles and follows the breath to his feet. Snow. With a smile they both stand and begin walking forward again, flowers popping up behind them.

    So wonderful <3 Sorry, kind of a rant

    Good job!
    | Posted on 2007-10-04 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this and i would have loved to have read the full version. just what you have still captures the heart. it is beautiful. you are a good writter, i have a read a few of yours now and i like all the ones i read. great work.
    | Posted on 2004-09-08 00:00:00 | by Jesimine | [ Reply to This ]
      oooh i like it! where two become one thats so sweet and like emo said seeing your breath is intimate and this poem has a sense of romance in it, just a wonderful little peice you wrote here. great job
    -steph
    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      What.emo said...storms tear up the sky? slowly it melts? I liked this but I think you have room to add in more detail to make this a lovely detailed poem with 2 themes. Liked the forsty breath turning into clouds...room for development. Best wishes
    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very nice seasons poem, inter-mixed with a relationship poem. My favorite line is the one about seeing your breath. It just seems so intimate.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]


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