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    dots Submission Name: Winters Calldots

    Author: Rainmaker
    ASL Info:    23 / M / Finland
    Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 45/50/19
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1116
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 278

       This is not the finished version, but i lost it in my hdd crash and this version was the only one i was able to dig out..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWinters Calldots

    Trees drop their leaves
    The winter is coming
    Two becomes one
    Storms tears up the skies
    Waters shall freeze
    I can see you breathe
    As a cloud it spreads
    Snow under our feet
    Slowly it smelts
    Again the flowers reach out

    Submitted on 2004-09-06 09:04:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ah, lovely poem as it has been said four other times. I do agree that you should maybe work no it again, add some descriptions to make it even more intense!

    This poem painted a scene of two people walking along a road, a man and a woman. They hold hands as autumn slowly fades into winter, the cold air envelopes them and they stop at a bench to rest. As they do this she can see his breath...she smiles and follows the breath to his feet. Snow. With a smile they both stand and begin walking forward again, flowers popping up behind them.

    So wonderful <3 Sorry, kind of a rant

    Good job!
    | Posted on 2007-10-04 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this and i would have loved to have read the full version. just what you have still captures the heart. it is beautiful. you are a good writter, i have a read a few of yours now and i like all the ones i read. great work.
    | Posted on 2004-09-08 00:00:00 | by Jesimine | [ Reply to This ]
      oooh i like it! where two become one thats so sweet and like emo said seeing your breath is intimate and this poem has a sense of romance in it, just a wonderful little peice you wrote here. great job
    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      What.emo said...storms tear up the sky? slowly it melts? I liked this but I think you have room to add in more detail to make this a lovely detailed poem with 2 themes. Liked the forsty breath turning into clouds...room for development. Best wishes
    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very nice seasons poem, inter-mixed with a relationship poem. My favorite line is the one about seeing your breath. It just seems so intimate.

    | Posted on 2004-09-06 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]

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