We're as beautiful as orchids
just less showy.
We smell as sweet as roses
but more subtle.
We sing like nightingales
and though we wear shyness
like a veil
if you peel it back
our beauty will leave you mute.
aaahhh nice description. you have written well. i like it because of its briefness. it is short but you have used good metaphors. honestly, i am sometimes bored with long poems, it is good to see this little article. though it is not long, it has a big effect on me. good title.
i agree with eve.. i'm not sure about the choice of the word 'dumb'.. it doesnt seem to fit within the poem. the connotations that the word carries just dont seem right.
other than that i think it's beautiful... i've always felt that wallflowers have so much more to offer.. you know you're special when they let you see something in them that they dont show to just anyone. that's how i see it anyway.
sweet write miss cuddle...i was tempted to say short and sweet just for the smart arse effect but decided agianst it...lol...so i'll say beautiful and imaginative...though im sure i spelled itwrong...but anyways your poem...the idea of comparing wall flowers to real flowers was awesome...and everyline was great...my favorite defently being the last...your mind has come up with yet another thought filled write...smiles ange
good poem. I like the 'we's, no need to get rid of some (like others said). but I don't like the last word so much. I would prefer something like 'stunned' instead of 'dumb'. I think that would be more powerful. but that's just me.
hmmm...interesting write. i think you do a good job. other than dropping a couple of the 'we's, a very good write. [like the pic, btw, too-you look like you're ready to kick some butt-one of 'charlie's angels'] ;-)
aha, i just remembered the name of the movie! it's "Little Voice". Now I can sleep. Now if only I can find a way to get this meaningless comment to a sufficient length so that I can post it... there we go.
this is another one that reminds me of that movie I still can't remember the name of. The shy girl has such a love for old music (nostalgic female solo artists) and her voice is like a nightingale. I really wish I could remember the name of it.
I liked the way you compare wallflowers to real flowers. If I had one somewhat (but not really) critical comment it would be that the nightingale strays from the flower theme. I like it though. Now what is the name of that damn movie...
Oh I really really really like this. I feel like a Wallflower. If it wasn't for dance I don't really think I would go anywhere, even school. Dance really brought the wallflower out of me these past few years. It is amazing the strength and beauty there is to be uncovered in so many wallflowers. This poem made me reconnect with why I love poetry and writing so much, it's a way to connect people. Excellent. -blt