My Unmarked Grave by Jesimine

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: My Unmarked Grave dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Jesimine
ASL Info:	19/female/australia
Elite Ratio:	2.87 - 64/96/20
Words:	123

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	360
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	732

Description:
I am not really looking for much in terms of feedback. I just like to know that ppl can relate. But if you think of any thing that can be improved then let me know. Thanks for taking the time and reading it.

My Unmarked Grave dots

-------------------------------------------

I died today,
Nobody knows and nobody cares,
I tried in every way,
But nobody comes and nobody dares.

I knew that i would be alone,
But i need help,
I am by myself, I am one,
I am alone and without help.

Everything crumbles and falls apart,
I am alone once again,
Now I don't have even a heart,
I will be alone until then.

Why have you left me alone now?
I need you,
You have gone and left me somehow,
I do not know what to do.

You never came to my grave,
You never even thought of it,
I tried my hardest to be brave,
But i am not, not even a little bit.

Submitted on 2004-09-07 01:56:25 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Hmmmm this is truly a thoughtful and sad piece. Your perspective should be more sharpened after this. The words flow smoothly and give off a power that is subtle. Very good work.

Wynne Devereaux
| Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by Wynne Devereaux | [ Reply to This ]
  This reminds of a scene in an animated movie called (D - Vampire Hunter) when "D" and the other girl was talking about how they both lived there life alone and will die alone, and they agree that who ever dies last brings flowers to the other's grave...

A lot of people might die alone...I think I'm one of them...

I love this poem, its feelings are so strong...
| Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
  well...another good poem. like the whole message. I really got the feeling in this one. A poet isnt really a poet until they can use only words to envoke emotion in another...good job:)

->Dark
| Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! I really like this. It's. . .sad. . .and angry. . .and even a little bitter. You expressed your feelings very well and even though the flow was a little off all together it is an excellent peace. I very much enjoyed reading it. I would like to tell you though, I don't know you in the least but I still care a great deal for you. No matter what it is I'm always open to talk. I've been exactly where you are in that poem and I know how it feels to be alone. Well great poem and if you ever need a friend, I'm here. . .
| Posted on 2004-09-07 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ]
  The impression left on my mind was a sense of detachment. The metaphor of an unmarked grave was difficult for me to associate with the object of your demise.

This does not detract from the emotional loss of the piece. The feelings are valid nonetheless.
| Posted on 2004-09-07 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, as you must know when you are at the bottom, the onlyway is up. Keep on writing or doing whatever makes you feel better... we all have had times of despair.
| Posted on 2004-09-07 00:00:00 | by Rainmaker | [ Reply to This ]
  Ouch! The feeling of despondency and pain. We all go there from time to time. It’s a good place to visit – gives you perspective. (You know how it is… you need rain to appreciate the sunshine and vice-versa) But the thing to remember is not to stay there.

I hope your writing the poem helped to get a perspective on your depression. And I hope more that you will find it within yourself to overcome it.

Peace.
| Posted on 2004-09-07 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.