Description: This is lil peace of lyrics i managed to get on with, its simple - but hey its metal lyrics. As you all know metal and rock needs to be simple and played loud. You might want to test some notes with it since i have not found any song to fit it in.
this peice is very dark and i have never read anything like it. it is very unique and it captivates the reader, puts them in a spiral of being the cause. i think that it's darkness is what makes it great. it will definitely be added to my favourites list. thanx for doing what we all are afraid to do.
I really liked this alot. Its very dark and it makes the reader so caught in the moment. You've opened a window that alot of writers dont dare to open. It totally gave a whole different perspective. Usually writers are writing as a victim, instead you wrote as the causer of pain. Well written and very original
Great lyrics, pretty dark but I definetly do see metal in that Kick ass. Rock on. So you are actually a musician? I do agree w/ nameless_nobody about the name, you call it sinner too many people will expect too much from it and even though it is great they will be disapointed. But that is because people suck oh well great write. I will def. read more from you.
its very good but you cant call a metal song sinner. there will only ever be one metal song called sinner and thats by drowning pool. so change your title. but it does rock. put it so a heavy bass line, very heavy not too complicated and just crank it up. its dark which i like. get yourself a decent troll mask and you could be the new mortis. rock on! mlln m/
Throw this in microsoft word and it will shine better once you eliminate a few basic errors. I like the idea for this but I feel the way you connect all the dots makes this poem a little vague ...or you lose a little of the punch in delivery. best wishes...worthy of refinement :